Is Marco sleeping with Francesca? Did Fran's sister Alhambra steal Vikki's man? Did Armand poison Alhambra to get in with Vikki? Did somebody grease the elevator cable that sent Dr Darkanhansum plummeting to his death? Will Romanski ever wake from his coma? You'd better tune in or you're going to be hopelessly lost!

Illegitimate Family Feud: Can a family based on a one-night stand pull together and vanquish their foes in the arena of Family Feud? Can the kids help the father they've never known advance to the bonus round? Will it all dissolve into a big, backstabbing mess? Tune in to find out!

Hollywood Queers: Guess who's gay and thrill in the experience of screwing up somebody else's life for a change! Will it be Closet #1, Closet #2, or Closet #3?

Molest Your Luck: Your luck's got to run out some time, and when it does, we'll be waiting with some infuriatingly cute cartoon characters and goofy buzzers!

Win, Lose or Cheat: How honest are you really? Not very? Well get in line! We have to bolt the buzzers to the booth on this one.

Make Me Puke: Three professional slobs race against the clock to make an audience member blow Trix.

The Hating Game: We've fixed up a KKK organizer and Queen Latifah, a homophobe and a drag queen, and Katie Couric and Morton Downey Jr all on blind dates! You won't believe what we get away with in the "question and answer" segment!

Wheel of Misfortune: Only one of our three contestants will go home in a good mood, or even in one piece! Second place? Hope you can fly better than you spell, bitch! Third place? We'll see if you spin any better after an hour in an industrial burlap dryer!

Name that Racial Slur: Our eagle-eared contestants meet a panel of construction workers, aristocrats and bar patrons in an attempt to decipher their bitter slang!

The $25,000 Pyramid Scheme: Nobody wins, but the contestants are fooled long enough to think they're actually going to win something that we turn a nice profit.

Question the Answer: Are the Mariana Islands really in the Black Sea? Did we research the answers? What are you willing to wager to find out?

The only soap opera on television where every character is sleeping with absolutely every other character with whom physical union is genetically possible! You can bet there's going to be some dramatic consequences!