Select Your UPC Program SECTIONS ------------ Program Schedule Daytime Evenings Primetime Latenight Super Latenight Kidscrap! PROGRAMS ------------ The A-Files The Ambulance Brothers America's Funniest Abortions America's Least Wanted As the World Gossips Bikini Beach Black Kid and a Stick The Bold & the Horny The Bystander Celebrity Autopsy Cooking & Subservience Cracker The Ebola Boys Everybody Loves Hitler Fear the Day News Fogey Views Fucked Up By an Angel Gilligan's Invention Good God America Honky Talk Hookers on Phonics I Didn't Do It! I Hate Mondays InterVIEW w/ Gerald Ford JAG/OFF Jimmy Carter's Rebuttal Kenny the Talking Carp LaVonne & Shelly Life's a Beach w/ Sandy Bunns Leave it to Lorena! Mall Cops The Newman Show The New Benny Hill Show The Omnipotent Seven Pakistan & Barbara Puppet Regime Quantum Leak Rick Moranis Presents Salinger! Satire Day/Night Live/Taped South Bikini Beach Spic 'N Span Sucker For Love They're Not From Earth UPC Saturday Night Movie World's Worst Typos

		Bikini Beach 4:00PM ET/PT Sundays Sunday afternoon fun in the sun! What are you, a gimp? You know what the show's all about!

	Gilligan's Invention 5:00PM ET/PT Weekdays The Gilligan's Island crew is back... with fresh new actors! Everybody thought Gilligan was a total idiot, but when he showed up one day with some kind of mechanical coconut that made him the master of reality, everyone started lining up to be his best friend! Now the gang is off the island and living in downtown New York, where they kiss Gilligan's ass in order to gain magical powers or just to avoid having their genitals turned into summer squash! Quantum Leak 5:00PM ET/PT Saturdays A freak accident in the fabric of the universe causes a time-space leak, the upshot of which is that famous historical figures of the past are popping up everywhere all over America! Rick Blade is the special agent assigned to terminate them... with extreme prejudice! South Bikini Beach 5:00PM ET/PT Sundays Where all the people who got kicked out of Bikini Beach live! Get ready for some irresponsible behavior! America's Funniest Abortions 5:30PM ET/PT Weekdays Newly revamped version of the old standby, "America's Funniest Medical Mishaps", this program features hosts John Blaine and Misty Fiore making humorous comments alongside the funniest, most outrageous abortion hijinks you'll ever see. Even pro-lifers have to laugh at the shenanigans as fetuses get stuck, toilets don't flush and more! The 6 O'Clock Fear Broadcast 6:00PM ET/PT Weekdays The World is a dark, scary, dangerous place, and we won't let you forget it! UPC News is the perfect violence and menacing cocktail to wash down your dinner with, just don't trust your family not to run you through with steak knives to get your helping! The A-Files 6:00PM ET/PT Sundays When four elite crimefighting FBI agents who consistently find themselves tangled up in paranormal events are fired by mysterious conspiratorial shadowy forces from within our own government, they raid armories for some heavy ammunition and strike out on their own as mercenaries! The result is an action-packed hour in which the Loch Ness Monster is nuked, Sasquatch gets shotgunned and invading UFOs face off against tactical land-to-air missiles! Meanwhile, our heroes, who range from a profiler of serial killers, a medical expert, and a mohawk-sportin' mean motherfucker, have to deal with secret government assassins who are watching their every move! Honky Talk 7:00PM ET/PT Weekdays It's the McNeil/Lehrer Hour for Country Music, with your host, Jeff Foxworthy! Tune in to hear Jeff discuss all things Country with his special guests and his semi-fixed panel of down-home luminaries like Cooter Barnes and Blind Willie Funk! Fogey Views 7:00PM ET/PT Sundays One solid weekly hour of investigative reporting that we promise will never, ever wake you from your nap.

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