Will cap for food!

Martay: "As Titular Head of Playtex Marketing, Betty Boobnoggin was the natural choice to model this year's most exciting new creation."	devildoll: Sister Monica Lewinsky models her "Tough Love" jaw muscle support system! (Available through Harriet Carter)	Lanzman: Allows comfortable and repeated cranio-rectal insertion. Lubricant sold separately.
KINGDINOSAUR: Lifts and separates the frontal lobes (available only in "A" cup)	SpydieGirl: Headline: A Cure for Dropsy is Finally Found	Xigeous: ...Neck juice and pan not included.
omnikight: We tested our product on Danny DeVito...	robofreak: *Do not taunt Happy Face Bra*	Geier: Somehow, I never expected Elsa Lanchester to look so...I dunno...perky.
Generik: Besides having to live with monikers like "Jughead" and "Nipple-nose," Betty O'Connor found herself typecast as "That bra-faced woman," and was unable to find work outside of the occasional Frederick's of Hollywood magazine ad. On the plus side, she stayed young-looking years after her contemporaries had become old and wrinkled.	Agent_Moldy: But then she swallowed, triggering the trip underwire, which slashed her jugular, and she died. Tsk, y'gotta watch out for those booby traps...	animebabe: Funny... I don't remember Bette Midler singing about an "Above-The-Shoulder-Chin-Wag-Holder"...
Ash_Skywalker: For those with faces that just 'bust' out!!	BadBoy1: "..Look Ma..!!!! My Quadruple chin is gone.!!!! Do ya think Uncle Dempsy will take me out for a date now?"	144b: So, what you a "D" chin?
cscott: .oO("If they think this is funny, they should see where I'm wearing my hat...")	Cyberbeast: "I didn't know they let women in the Russian space program"	clover: The Face-Bra! Brought to you by the fabulous makers of such helpful products as the 'Colon Garter' and the ever popular 'Spleen Girdle'. (I dunno.)
BuckFifty: Tonight on a very special Burnt Hills 90210... "Wow Kelly, you look ravishing in your new gauze and head bandages." "*giggle* Why thank you Brandon... say, those scars are healing up nicely... but what's that in your throat?" "That's my new Tommy Hilfiger Trach ring. Seems that last weeks fire fused my windpipe shut." "Oh...very cool. So how is it you can still talk normally?" "Um... wanna have sex?" *wocka chicka* *black fadeout* *cut to commercial*	DiscoBoy: We'll make you proud to be titty-faced! And for those times when you're shit-faced, there's the Face-Diaper©!	UnReality: "Soon to be a major motion picture starring Marlon Brando and Elizabeth Taylor..."
joe678: (insert cell phone) "Yes, Mother, I'm doing my face exercises.......yes, Mother, I know I don't have any talent....yes, I know...yes, goodbye, Mother." *click* "And one, and two, and...oh, to hell with 'em! Let 'em droop!"	JoeCrow: After moving away from her mother, Erdine found the most difficult challenge was dressing herself.	NurseNoir: Aw, g'wan ya whippersnappers! Ah don't care about cappin' it: Ah jes' wants ta know whar Ah kin git me one, dagnabbit!
suggs: I'm Batman!	Buffoon: In her effort to join Rabbinical School, Yentl went a bit too far with the Yarmulka.	Scypha: Now, you too can enjoy undersea adventures with Jacques Cousteau diving suit headgear!
Enapov: STAY TOGETHER CHEEKS - STAY TOGETHER! William Shatner's newest line of clothing for women, the face girdle....With every purchase get his new book " Me and my Merkin!"	Phibes: For a limited time only from J.C. Whitney: the exclusive Jane Mansfield Commemorative Hood Ornament!	WEIRD_1: From the makers of Pampers, Always with Wings, and Pull-Up's Training Pants, comes a new product for the Crap-head impaired in the family, Introducing...Duty Head Brain Pads. Available in Adult and Child sizes.
empressv: Gloria Stienem's dreams of a new NFL Barbie were dashed today when jock strap drills proved too complicated for our heroine.	Shandi: Eraserhead! Now with optional dancing chicken...	:

Still hungry?