Will cap for food 15!

Generik: Arnie the Turtle is just one of the many woodland creatures that OJ has enlisted in his continuing crusade to find the Real Killers and bring them to justice. Arnie plays to a seven handicap, and never seems to be bothered by water hazards.	BadBoy1: "...Payne Stewart's pet turtle commited suicide today... after learning of his masters death.... by allowing Big John Daly to tee him up on hole #3..." Film @ 11:00...	bugwber: If you count the divots on the ball, you can determine the turtle's age.
Lanzman: In their biggest exclusive to date, the National Enquirer revealed that the secret source of new golf balls was the rare Spalding Tortoise, whose anus forms a protective hemorrhoid around bits of corn.	CaveDweller: In the grand tradition of the tissue dispenser where you pull the tissues from the pig's hinder, we now bring you the Tigar Woods Signature Golf Ball dispenser. Only on QVC!	Steve_Reeves: Thanks to modern advances in Genetic Engineering, today's golfer need only bring one ball onto the course. Now that we have turtles which can give birth to regulation golf balls *on demand*, the golfing industry will save millions on lost balls.
Geier: Inexplicably, the all-turtle version of "The Adventures Of Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert", did not garner the bofo box office that its producers had expected.	WEIRD_1: I'd use a 5 Iron, watch for the sand trap on the left, don't worry about the water hazard, but whatever you do, don't slice it onto the interstate.	Ash_Skywalker: After years of leaving a terrible stench when flying by, Tiger Woods' perfect aim left Gamera defeated.
MadSigntist: "Okay, you can play it where it lays...IF you think you can catch me...NYAHHH!"	SunSinner: Looks like the male phenomenon of blue balls isn't limited to humans...of course turtles, being the nonconformists that they are, have their own little spin on it	empressv: Water hazards? Sand traps? No problem! But man... that turtle hazard will sure leave you in the rump--I mean uh... rough!
JoeCrow: FORE.....	starkbalmy: Tiger Woods has a brother that not many people are aware of. The family doesn't talk about him much because he's "slow."	Cyberbeast: Turtle: "Hey! You're supposed to yell fore!"
Dairai: An unorthodox ruling, to be sure, but hey, I still won the accuracy title, didn't I...?	nashbrutusandshort: A turtle that excretes golf balls? Those people at Genentech NEVER should have hired a former Dadaist to do gene splicing -- and that's all there is to it.	Agent_Moldy: "Feh! Great job, my ass! Pitching machine on a golf course. What the hell was I thinking, letting him talk me into this?! Ohhh, when I see that Fred Flintstone again, I'm gonna kick his -- OOOF! Damn!"
LuvBJones: Suddenly, "spank whitey" takes on a whole new meaning.	Daleman: Sorry Fred, we aren't playing winter rules today. It'll cost you a stroke if you touch the ball. However, I really think you can clear the water and make the green from here with a firm seven iron.	Ragbot: "Aww, look at those cute dimples on his cheeks.... Oh, ...OH!"
DiscoBoy: Ever the consummate professional and an astute student of the PGA rules, Tiger Woods knows that the turtle's anus hazard carries only a one stroke pentaly -- provided a disinterested bystander volunteers to remove the ball first.	Buffoon: I remember the good old days when you only had to worry about cosmetics being tested on animals.	Nastinkers: Talk about your hole-in-one!
Shandi: The things a reptile will do to get a gig with Budweiser...	Phibes: The Gerald Ford Invitational Golf Tournament -- Where golf is a contact Sport!	suggs: Earl! Get that camera outta there, AND GET ME DRUGS!!!!
BlakHat1: "Wait for me by the 7th hole, fellers! I gots to go fix the screengrabber again! Dur hurr!"	:	:
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o/~...grip it by the shaft and
put it in the hole... ~/o