Will cap for food 17!

144b: With this finger and this phone, I will make your life a living hell. Love Mom.	bugwber: Phone Psychic Pioneer Midge Williams of Great Neck, seen here in this publicity photo taken in 1958, accidentally shows the size of her husband's penis.	Motis: Strapped for cash, David Bowie agrees to publicly endorse 10-10-3-2-1.
DrPhibes: Well, it must be the day for screwups... I forgot to add my moniker to the Valium cap.	Buffoon: "...and remember girls, the guys who are calling you for phone sex are only about *this* long, so be kind."	Generik: "That was Baby Jesus on the phone. He's up in heaven, and wants me to remind all you boys and girls that if you touch yourselves, the angels will cry and you'll go straight to Hell. Also, if you think dirty thoughts, you're going to Hell. And if you're not a True Christian, and by that I mean Baptist, you're going straight to Hell. Have a nice day, children."
suggs: Dial-a-hitman makes collecting that big insurance policy a snap!	CaveDweller: Donna was so happy to be her husband's lifeline on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" in a fit of glee, she proudly displayed for the world to see, just how small his "member" is.	BlakHat1: Early attempts to use 10-10-XXX numbers resulted in thousands of broken nails and scores of broken fingers from that infernal dialer!
starkbalmy: "Looking for red-hot lesbian fetishistic S&M? Phone sex that just won't quit? A 'Mommy' for your 'Dennis Hopper'? Right here, Chester."	Lanzman: Doctors were astonished to discover that Mary Lynn Pheromone, 32, of Butane, Montana had actually worn the index finger of her right hand down to the first knuckle in her attempts to get through to The Howard Stern Show's call-in line.	animebabe: It was an interesting talent, but the judges all agreed that it was Miss Colorado's ability to pick her nose and dial a phone at the same time that put her over the top.
Nastinkers: I use this finger to dial, and I use this finger to... oh, nevermind!	D_Idaho: "And remember, when you call sex phone lines the saints cry."	Geier: "And remember, ladies: ALWAYS wear your pearls when answering the phone, because you never know who's on the other side." The Director, off-stage: "Cut! That's 'end', Cheryl, the 'other end', not 'side'." "Sh*t! How the h*ll am I supposed to remember this crap? *Lights up cigarette & begins puffing* Who the f*ck cares, anyway? Like some slob's gonna give two sh*ts what his wife's wearing when she picks up the phone to hear him claim he's working late again when he's REALLY gonna be banging his secretary's scrawny floozy @ss on his f*cking faux-walnut desk while his best friend fondles himself and films it all on Super8 for distribution by every sleezy porn distributor in the county..." "Uhm, Cheryl? Sometime TODAY, please?" "*Sigh* All right...*drops cigarette to the floor & stamps it out*...let's try 'er again." "Roll-em!" "And remember, ladies: Always wear pearls when answering the phone, because you never know who your two-timing sonovab*tch husband's f*cking 'till you cut off his balls and..." "CUT!!!"
Steve_Reeves: "For a good time, call me! My Magic Finger will take care of the rest!"	Reynard_T_Fox: "We're dutiful, domestic and submissive, and we're waiting for YOU...to call."	Shandi: "This same finger that I use to dial my dealer is also the same finger I use to help me snort cocai -- er, nevermind!!"
nashbrutusandshort: Few people realize that the Crips were actually founded by a bored Orange County housewife in 1956.	Agent_Moldy: "Keeping a safe distance away, so as to avoid getting any messy blood or gray matter on your clothing, simply hold your gun in your right hand like this, blow your cheating, bastard husband's ass away, then quickly call the police, letting them know you've just killed an "intruder". No mess, no fuss. It's a good thing."	Daleman: Then I want to feel your hot, sweaty, manley, hairy chest rubbing all over my back as you shove your long, hard, thick cock deep into my ass over and over again. Thrusting harder and faster, deeper and deeper into my dirtiest of holes until you squirt all your man-seed inside of... OH SHIT! My husbands home! I'll see you at the motel tomorrow at noon, bye. *click* Hi dear! Welcome home honey. How was your day at the office? Would you like a nice scotch and soda?
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Did you wash behind your ears?