Will cap for food 24!

Scypha: "Damn it, Margaret! I can't see Mars through this confounded telescope thing! I knew we shouldn't have purchased this from the Army Surplus store!" "Uh, I think you're holding it backwards, Ed."	BadBoy1: "..Hey...cool ass XK46-LR2 Anti Black Hawk missile honey. Now them little brats across the street will be sorry they ever put dog shit on the porch and lit it on fire...*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH*........yep"	Fee: "How do them thar ab-original Australians play this damn thing?"
BlakHat1: Behold the UDO 9000.. "Big Ride...Feels Smooth!"	JoeCrow: I think I see the problem Martha.... Pull the lever on the bottom and let's see if that does anything.	144b: Oh, Doris. you and your vacuum attachments. Well, there's the problem right there, now. You sucked up that cat again. C'mer Mr. Boots. Mmmm. he's wedged in there good & tight there. Go fetch me the needle nosed pliers & a coat hanger. And, Doris. wear your glasses while running the vacuum, there okay?
nashbrutusandshort: "Kinda heavy, but it's worth it for this picture of Betty Grable. Yowzah!"	Generik: Promotional still from the late '60s epic, "Dr. Strangelove; or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Kaleidoscope."	DiscoBoy: Kara knew that ever since he came home from 'Nam with that steel plate in his head, Bazooka Joe just wasn't the same. And when he insisted on hunting Mort and A.J. all across Canada for being "draft dodgin' basttids," well that was just plain wrong. But she stuck by his side through thick and thin, if only for the memories. And also to make sure the ammo was always out of arm's reach.
Buffoon: .oO That's right... Check out the babe in the apartment across the street in your new "telescope"...heh, heh, heh... Trigger finger, don't fail me now!!!	Agent_Moldy: "Well, I'll try, dear, but I'm not sure I can make the vibration mode work again..." OR Ma & Pa Heston open their anniversary present from Charlton.	Laurie2K: Never Bring Your Wife To A Peepers Convention: "Don't you think this prototype looks awfully strange, Harold? What if their telescopes aren't really a complicated system of lenses to make objects appear closer? What if it's some new gravitational device that actually draws objects closer to the observer? Please, Harold... don't point it at the sun... not just for the sake of your eyes, dear, but because you could bring on the destruction of mankind... *big sigh* Listen, Harold... I do know a few things..."
Batqueen: "Um, Dave, honey... don't you think you should turn that thing around the other way?" "Shut up, Marge! I know what I'm doing!"	nastinkers: .oO Thirty five years with this SOB, and it could all end right here.... just pull that trigger, Frank, pull that trigger...	Shandi: "I'm telling you Maude, it's a Penis Enlarger!" "Harold, if my breast enlarger didn't work, what makes you think THAT thing will work?"
SpydieGirl: "Now, Mother, please DON't push the red button." "This one?" *BOOM*	Steve_Reeves: .oO "Now, if I can juuuuust reach that remote trigger in my pocket without him noticing..." Oo.	nbutlerdidit: "Hmmm, yes; this should be JUST ABOUT big enough to bring that little Cuban boy in, heh heh."
cscott: At this point, Martha began feeling more optimistic about that life insurance policy...	WEIRD_1: Ya, it's jammed, I can see the shell, I'm gonna need a screwdriver, and while you're at it, hand me a box of matches	MrBungle: Twenty-five horrifying minutes later, she's explaining to the police how he was cleaning it and "it just went off!"
Martay: In a press conference at the San Diego Hilton, terminal Herpes patient Herb Fershlugginer demonstrated the latest in personal euthanasia appliances. Unfortunately, excess discharge from the appliance blew a 20 foot hole thru the wall behind Herb, vaporizing 15 members of a T.V. Psychics convention. Some skeptics wonder why they hadn't seen it coming.	IMissMST3K: "It's the newest thing in penile extensions...them Europeans come up with the GREATEST inventions, huh, honey!!!"	Daleman: I just don't know. This one's very nice, lightweight, easy too use but the wife's looking for something with a higher caliber, greater range and armor piercing ability.
D_Idaho: "Theres a label here that says do not use while bathing...."	Geier: Marge knew that Hal had been looking for projects to occupy his time ever since the retirement, so she tried to be understanding. But if she had to sit through one more minute of his self-congratulatory monologue about how much he'd "improved" her tampon applicator, she thought she'd burst.	UnReality: "I can't tell. Is it a boy or a girl?"
CaveDweller: What's the last thing a stupid redneck says before he dies? "Hey y'all, watch this!!!"	Reynard_T_Fox: "Japs shot off muh leg in Guadalcanal, we replaced it with this, right in the field, we did. We didn't have none a' them fancy HMO machines back then..."	Cyberbeast: Man: "Well thank you dear, I've always wanted a telescope." Woman: oO he he he, you bastard.
Annakie7: The old ink on the spyglass trick, taken to a much higher caliber.	starkbalmy: "Just a couple o' screws and a firing pin, and we'll have this baby operational, Helen. Then Reno's jackbooted thugs had better watch their asses!" .oO "He's so dreamy..."	bugwber: "How again did you get your pussy-cat stuck up in there?" / "No, George... that's not what I meant."

Viagra? PAH!