Green is Card
by the commune’s Boris Utzov 

Boris watching T.V. in the night to see funny man speaks of Jesus. Favorite funny show this week for Boris, man with fiberglass hair say thing of lord in funny voice all times. “PRAISETHEJESUS!” he yell and Boris is laughing. Boris tell this joke to persons at supermarket but no laughing from them. Person with bib say to Boris “Cash or credit, sir?” and Boris yell “PRAISETHEJESUS!” but Boris only one laughing.

Boris think persons is sad from wearing bib.

So like said, Boris is watching funny T.V. when commercial come on to tell Boris of Girls Got Wild. Is exciting movie. In movie girls decide is time for no clothes. And so “POOF!” no clothes and dancing. Boris love dancing! What lovely movie.

Back in Homeland, Boris always want such girls. But no, never for Boris. Best friend Mikhail have such a girl as partner long time. So much fun. All times she is being naked and drinking drunk. At church and grocery even. And sexing with all Mikhail friends, so much fun. Mikhail always lucky that way.

One time Boris think he have such girl in Sonja. Sonja go wild and bite Boris on face and call Boris mother fucker of mother. Is this fun of wild girls? But Boris friends tell that Sonja is not wild, is bitch. Oh no! Boris mistake. Sonja could make movie Girls Got Bitch all perfection.

Boris never got wild girl, so Boris want movie all very much. So Boris call telephone with number to say “Give to Boris Girls Got Wild!”

But then Boris having problem. Movie persons not wanting magic beans for movie! No fooling with you! Boris shake head at crazy world. Persons wanting dollar for movie, and Boris not having dollar. Is sad day.

Louis explain that Boris need special job for get dollar, not like “I am Bagel Red!” job. Not same. Job like driving bus or to ski on television.

Boris think for time and think of like to scrub floor with tennis ball on stick. This is job for Boris!

So Boris go to store and tell “Give to Boris tennis ball job!”

Man in hat talk to Boris about job and to fill out fun papers. Then man ask for to see Boris green card. Boris give to man of card, but man look like smelling old dirty neighbors.

Boris say “You not worry, green is card!” with smile like no problem.

But man in hat is not going happy. Him look like holding onto big shit. “Are you fucking with me? This is a Home Depot card!”

Boris nod and smile. “Green is card!”

End of exciting story is no tennis ball job for Boris, man in hat not liking him not lots. So no Girls Got Wild not other. Sad, no? No! Surprise by happy ending is you! Boris go home and find Louis already have movie.

What happy movie is life.

Boris is Superbowl Party
Talk about fun things that are Superbowl! Men in costumes who run outside, this is football. What great things this is, or as Louis say shit. What great shits we are having when men run with little turkey thing that flies. “Shit!” says Louis when turkey flies long way. “Shit!” says Boris who is having Superbowl fun.

Hello from Robot Apartment
Boris is lovely with life in new country. Already life like exciting rolling coaster. One time, you say “Hey, this is fun, I am in crazy train car!” and then soon another time “Make stop! Make stop for Boris to shit!” and hanging on little children while mother hits with purse. This is like Boris life.

Coming Inside America
Boris come to America, for it is land without crows. All the time in the Homeland, crows follow Boris around, laughing HA HA HA. Boris Goddamn the crows, but still they follow and laugh. Boris is sad. Also, Boris gets neighbor in belly with baby! Oh no! So, Boris is coming inside America.