<!--
document.writeln('<div class="partnerhead">Milestones</div>'
+'<div class="partnerarea">'
+'<b><i>1931:</i></b> Former commune columnist Sampson L. Hartwig forfeits another “Race Around the World” when it is discovered that he merely hid in a barn for three days, then took a taxi in from the opposite side of town, claiming victory.<br><br>'
+'</div>'
+'</td>'
+'<td valign="top" width="1"><img src="../../graphics/black.gif" width="1" height="250" border="0" hspace="5"></td>'
+'<td valign="top" width="125">'
+'<div class="partnerhead">Now Hiring</div>'
+'<div class="partnerarea">'
+'<b>Compulsive Ass-Kisser</b>. Shameless suck-up needed to boost general staff morale and cut down on work days lost to crippling depression. Total lack of discernment required. Insane “Never met a man I didn’t like” attitude a plus.'
+'<br>'
+'</div>'
+'</td>'
+'<td valign="top" width="1"><img src="../../graphics/black.gif" width="1" height="250" border="0" hspace="5"></td>'
+'<td valign="top" width="155">'
+'<div class="partnerhead">Top Pants-Missing Explanations</div>'
+'<table border="0"><tr>'
+'<td valign="top"><div class="partnerarea">1.&nbsp;</div></td>'
+'<td><div class="partnerarea">Busted out Hulk-style'
+'</div></td></tr><tr>'
+'<td valign="top"><div class="partnerarea">2.&nbsp;</div></td>'
+'<td><div class="partnerarea">Told one lie too many'
+'</div></td></tr><tr>'
+'<td valign="top"><div class="partnerarea">3.&nbsp;</div></td>'
+'<td><div class="partnerarea">Busted out Louie Anderson-style'
+'</div></td></tr><tr>'
+'<td valign="top"><div class="partnerarea">4.&nbsp;</div></td>'
+'<td><div class="partnerarea">What, aren’t you hot?'
+'</div></td></tr><tr>'
+'<td valign="top"><div class="partnerarea">5.&nbsp;</div></td>'
+'<td><div class="partnerarea">Talked out of them by gay Casanova'
+'</div></td></tr><tr>'
+'<td valign="top"><div class="partnerarea">6.&nbsp;</div></td>'
+'<td><div class="partnerarea">Made ass look big'
+'</div></td></tr><tr>'
+'<td valign="top"><div class="partnerarea">7.&nbsp;</div></td>'
+'<td><div class="partnerarea">Donated to killer mandroid from future'
+'</div></td></tr><tr>'
+'<td valign="top"><div class="partnerarea">8.&nbsp;</div></td>'
+'<td><div class="partnerarea">Realized parachute pants went out of style in 1986'
+'</div></td></tr><tr>'
+'<td valign="top"><div class="partnerarea">9.&nbsp;</div></td>'
+'<td><div class="partnerarea">Sat in ham'
+'</div></td></tr><tr>'
+'<td valign="top"><div class="partnerarea">10.&nbsp;</div></td>'
+'<td><div class="partnerarea">You kidding? Pants are <I>so</I> 2002' 
+'</div></td>'
+'</tr></table>');
//-->

