<!--
document.writeln('<div class="partnerhead">Milestones</div>'
+'<div class="partnerarea">'
+'<b><i>2003:</i></b> The infamous “Battle of the Bulge” breaks out at when office wench Ivana Folger-Balzac mistakes Ramrod Hurley’s beerbelly for a birthing alien larvae and sets into the Acting-Editor with a can opener. The skirmish and resultant standoff lasts 18 hours and claims the lives of several <I>Crochet!</I> magazine staffers, for whom the commune observes a moment of near-silence.<br><br>'
+'</div>'
+'</td>'
+'<td valign="top" width="1"><img src="../../graphics/black.gif" width="1" height="265" border="0" hspace="5"></td>'
+'<td valign="top" width="125">'
+'<div class="partnerhead">Now Hiring</div>'
+'<div class="partnerarea">'
+'<b>Sexecutioner</b>. Why does everybody keep laughing when we say that? We need a dude who can kill some fucking people in an official capacity, okay? What’s so funny about that? You guys are sick. Anyway, pay commensurate to experience. Must provide own mask, axe, electric chair, whatever floats your boat.'
+'<br>'
+'</div>'
+'</td>'
+'<td valign="top" width="1"><img src="../../graphics/black.gif" width="1" height="265" border="0" hspace="5"></td>'
+'<td valign="top" width="155">'
+'<div class="partnerhead">Top Shit That’s<BR>on Fire Right Now</div>'
+'<table border="0"><tr>'
+'<td valign="top"><div class="partnerarea">1.</div></td>'
+'<td><div class="partnerarea">Ted Ted’s ulcer'
+'</div></td></tr><tr>'
+'<td valign="top"><div class="partnerarea">2.</div></td>'
+'<td><div class="partnerarea">Iraqi fireworks<BR>stand #5'
+'</div></td></tr><tr>'
+'<td valign="top"><div class="partnerarea">3.</div></td>'
+'<td><div class="partnerarea">Lousy gag candles'
+'</div></td></tr><tr>'
+'<td valign="top"><div class="partnerarea">4.</div></td>'
+'<td><div class="partnerarea">Old love letters/most of Colorado'
+'</div></td></tr><tr>'
+'<td valign="top"><div class="partnerarea">5.</div></td>'
+'<td><div class="partnerarea">Salsa music. No, seriously.'
+'</div></td></tr><tr>'
+'<td valign="top"><div class="partnerarea">6.</div></td>'
+'<td><div class="partnerarea">Apparently some part of Bruce Springsteen'
+'</div></td></tr><tr>'
+'<td valign="top"><div class="partnerarea">7.</div></td>'
+'<td><div class="partnerarea">The sun. Pretty sure.'
+'</div></td></tr><tr>'
+'<td valign="top"><div class="partnerarea">8.</div></td>'
+'<td><div class="partnerarea">Richard Pryor-model Jiffy Pop'
+'</div></td></tr><tr>'
+'<td valign="top"><div class="partnerarea">9.</div></td>'
+'<td><div class="partnerarea">Dad?'
+'</div></td></tr><tr>'
+'<td valign="top"><div class="partnerarea">10.</div></td>'
+'<td><div class="partnerarea">You obviously lied about those being asbestos pants.'
+'</div></td></tr><tr>'
+'</tr></table>');
//-->

