Hello column. Welcome to thing is Boris brain on papers. Such good time to do this thing because Boris brain full of good thought is for writing today. Yesterdays, not so. Yesterday Boris brain full of being hungry and Girls Got Wild video thing. But today, Boris does catch pigeon outside apartment window with net thing made from swimming pants, so Boris belly full of pigeon meats. Also, Girls Got Wild tape thing does bust from so much rewinding, so goodbye to that. Today Boris brain is free for thought things, so good for writing.

Boris does catch pigeon lunch thing because is no food in apartments. Is food outside apartments, Boris thinking, in store or hands of childrens so smaller than Boris. But Boris cannot leave to eat these food, because of no key for apartment thing. Oh shit, is this deal. So Boris must catch what meats fly by apartment window into pants.

Then there is one good idea thing Boris does have: to send Similar to Skippy dog outs of apartment to find foods. Similar to Skippy dog so good at finding foods, is like pro. Any place him does go, does find popscorn in garbages or half of glazed ham floating in neighbor toilet. So good this dog. So Boris does send dog out on food mission, so smart. But does turn out Similar to Skippy dog is not good at second part of mission, which is bring foods back to Boris thing. No, no no, Similar to Skippy is shit for this part, big retard job. Him does eat all finding foods and come back to Boris only when is so full to vomits on couch. So, in way Similar to Skippy dog does bring foods to Boris, but this is such gross way to do job.

Boris also does try yelling way to get foods. Sticking head out window and yelling “Hey Boris does need foods!” is good way for collecting shoes and rocks that neighbors does throw for help, but none is smart to think of throwing can of ham or so many sardines for eating.

So, Boris does build pants trap for catching bird. So smart, but Boris still does dumb thing of forgets to pull off feathers before to bake ‘n shake pigeon. After Boris does put out fire, pigeon meal is so crunchy with stabbing things, like one time Boris does accidentally eats scorpion in hot dog.

But now wait for Louis is not such hungry time, is nice. Also nice because Boris does make friend! Yay for friend! And Boris friend this time not made of meatballs. For real Boris friend is Jehoma Wintess person who come at door to tell Boris of heaven place where persons does have wings like Batman and does sing like Batman. This is does sound good to Boris. Hooray for Batman!

First, Boris does not like Jehoma Wintess because person will not run to store to get Boris food like Russian bologna and Ritz. But, then Boris does forgive because of being in love with Jehoma Wintess. Boris even does give Wintess all things from Boris special pig bank to help pay for ladder to heaven. And Jehoma Wintess not even mad that Boris pig bank only full of tootsie rolls because Wintess is so in love with Boris also. Boris can tell this thing because Wintess does not mind to sit on couch where Similar to Skippy dog does chuck up all times, Wintess does act like not even knowing. Hooray for love thing!