abernathie='2007/0305/index.html#abernathie';
abernathietitle='I See No Need for Spring Training';
bagel='2007/0514/index.html#bagel';
bageltitle='Return to the Bermuda Shorts Triangle';
book='2007/0521/index.html#book';
boris='2007/0430/index.html#boris';
boristitle='Big Bee is Dead';
chesterfeld='2007/0409/index.html#chesterfeld';
chesterfeldtitle='Deidrebane, You Will Take Back What You Said About Dokken';
childstar='2005/1212/childstar.html';
childstartitle='Not Famous Anymore';
dickman='2005/0718/dickman.html';
dickmantitle='Tom Cruise <i>Loves</i> That Woman';
dreck='2007/0326/index.html#dreck';
drecktitle='Is the Ocean the World’s Toilet or What?';
dunkin='2005/0905/dunkin.html';
dunkintitle='The New Anne Frank Diary';
edit='2003/1222/edit.html';
fanmail='2005/1010/fanmail.html';
fanmailtitle='Volume 64';
finger='2007/0528/index.html#finger';
fingertitle='Lobbying for the 368-Day Weekend';
fortune='2002/020121/fortune.html';
goocher='2007/0514/goocher.html';
goochertitle='Wears the Beef';
hanes='2005/0704/hanes.html';
hanestitle='Pink is Not for Men';
hartwig='2005/0606/hartwig.html';
hartwigtitle='Parade';
hooper='2005/0912/hooper.html';
hoopertitle='Seventh Heaven';
hurley='2005/0404/hurley.html';
hurleytitle='Time of Healing';
kroeger='2007/0402/kroeger.html';
kroegertitle='Nobody Knows How to Have a Good Time Anymore';
loser='2007/0423/index.html#loser';
losertitle='Famous Like Amos';
ned='2007/0319/index.html#ned';
nedtitle='Time to Pull the Plug on Ugly';
pickle='2002/020513/pickle.html';
pickletitle='State of the Art';
poet='2007/0528/index.html#poet';
police='2007/0514/index.html#police';
polio='2007/0423/index.html#polio';
poliotitle='Kibbles \'n Shit';
rent='2007/0528/index.html#rent';
renttitle='We Must Become the Change We Want to See in the World';
reynolds='2006/0213/index.html#reynolds';
reynoldstitle='Raters of the <i>Lost</i> Arc';
hartwig='2004/1206/hartwig.html';
hartwigtitle='O Captain!';
sickhead='2007/0521/index.html#sickhead';
sickheadtitle='Don\'t Drop the Elf';
ted='2007/0312/index.html#ted';
tedtitle='Swing-to-the-Left Voters Can Eat Me';
vanslyke='2007/0507/vanslyke.html';
vanslyketitle='Grape Nuts? Bullshit Nuts is More Like It';
zender='2007/0326/index.html#zender';
zendertitle='The National commune Enthusiasts Club';