The Joker the commune's Rok Finger wants you to touch his big ol' jet airliner
Tuesday, May 15, 2001
Some people call me… the “space
cowboy.” Some call me the “gangster of love.” Some
people call me “Maurice”—wahnt wah—because I
speak of the pompatus of love.
People talk about me, baby—say I'm doing you wrong.
"Doing you wrong"! Well, don't you worry, baby, don't
worry. 'Cause I'm right here; right here, right here at home.
'Cause I'm a picker. I'm a grinner. I'm a lover—and I'm a
sinner. I play my music in the sun. I'm a joker, I'm a smoker;
I'm a midnight-toker. I get my lovin' on the run.
You’re the cutest thing I ever did see.
I really love your peaches; wanna shake your tree.
Lovey-dovey. Lovey-dovey. Lovey-dovey all the time. Ooo-wee,
baby, I sure show you a good time.
'Cause I'm a picker. I'm a grinner. I'm a lover—and I'm a
sinner. I play my music in the sun. I'm a joker, I'm a smoker;
I'm a midnight-toker. I sure don't want to hurt no one.
People keep talking about me baby: Say I'm doing you wrong. But
don't you worry, don't worry, no don't worry, momma. 'Cause I'm
right here at home.
Editor’s Note: As you may have
guessed, Rok Finger had an embarrassing incident with a stage
magician over the weekend and has assumed the new identity of
Steve Miller of the Steve Miller Band; hopefully temporarily.
With luck, Rok’s regular identity and column will be
restored next time.
Milestones
the commune's scratch 'n sniff look at last year's office potluck
Opportunities
Pants a Capitalist
Free Virus Baggies
Take a Kitten, Please
the commune book selections
the commune's Bear in Rearview
the commune's Big Book of Duke
Faces of the commune
the commune 100: Leaders and Revolutionaries
the commune 100: Traitors and Noodledicks
FAQ Shwartz |
Site Map's Somewhere in the Glovebox |
Search In Vain |
Contract Ick
Privacy Police |
Terms of Gary Busey |
Reprints & Persimmons |
Press Eject Now
I Can't Get Up
Help me! Good people, this is not a lark, I’m serious--I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.
This is High-Grade Stuff
As my readers know, I believe strongly in charity--one look at my wife will tell you that.
Rok Finger: Independent Film Star
Rokwell T. Finger is taking the next logical step in the celebrity chain--I’m going to be in a movie!
No Dog Will Run My Life
Uproar has swept over me, good people. You want to know why? You want to know WHY? I can’t hear you! That’s better.
Doin' Fine
I must say with one-cup astonishment, two cups of mistrust, I’m doing perfectly well this week.
God Owes Me BIG TIME
Look at my face! Now you know damn well somebody owes me something for that, people.
Nabisco Loves Me
It was I who played a part in the efforts to make Cheez-Its the world's #1-selling brand cheese cracker.
Generation-X-O-Cide
Some may feel intimidated and back down from the pierced and tatooed larvae that pass for young people these days, but not yours truly. Nor will I.
