Rin Tin Tin Hindcleaner

Tree Sap

President, Zimbabwe Division of Loyal Jon Bon Jovi Fans

High-Maintenance Lawn Jockey

Burt Reynolds’ Jock Strap

Hall Monitor

Vice President

Latrine Archaeologist

Personal Assistant to Puppet Master

Inventor of Saucy Titles

Male Psychic Concubine

Blimp Landing Gear

Long Dong Silver

Official in Charge of Self-Touching Coverup

Rhinestone Cowboy

Colostomy Bag with Arms

Toilet Mint

Crank Dealer For the Nation's Elderly Poor

Marion Barry

Happy Felcher

Manchild Slurper

Ribbed For Her Pleasure

Seedy Part of Town

Abstract Barf

The Dreaded Rear Admiral

Charles Bronson Pinchot

Furets de Kilimanjaro

Fishing Lure Prototype

Round Robin Tournament of Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue Christmas Without You Light Up My Life Sucks, Then You Die

Hernia Yanker

Teenybopper Fan

Shyster Lover

Middleclass Object of Resentment

Her Majesty’s Regret

Weenie Tracker

Skilless Pharmacist

Lord's Weight-Guesser

Spanker of Royal Monkey

Less-Than-Butch Butcher

Her Majesty’s Drag Queen

Royal Example

Jim J. Bullock of the Court

Long-Loved Prison Toy

Saluter of Those About to Rock

Shameless Urinary Infection

Trump Outhouse

Self-Kinged Peasant

Royal Navel-Wetter

Tub Warmer

Floor for “Stomp!”

Reminder of Evildoing

Man of Teal

Hellbounder

Neo-Lewdite

Scare Sheryl Crow

Queen’s Breast Lump

Laminated Mistake

Mocker of Fine Arts

Shits Ahoy!

Fallout Shelter Tester

Keeper of All That is Lame

Ass-Crack Measurer of the Land

International Incidenter

Baby Cub Bear Boxer

Covert Milksop

Defender of Hack

Foul Breath Judge

Staircase Bannister

TBS Programming Guide

Loophole Spackle

Female Ejaculate

Fickle Don Rickles Dick Tickler

Roseanne’s Stool

Practicing Pedophile

Wrong Way Sign on an Airplane Runway

Mediocre Handjobber

Buried Refuse

King’s Sham

Court Cockring

Jester Presser

Starry-Eyed Demon

Master of Brown-Baggin’-It

Chunky Bunkmate

The Unoiled Anus of God

Shitty Smurf

Muppet Puppet

Chowdermouth

Olympic Javelin Catcher

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Shallow Diver

President’s Asian Geisha Boy

Missionary Position

Official Middle Finger

President’s Bumper

Trusted Pete Best

Little Big Little Man

Official Self-Toucher

Les Miserable

Premiere Oxygen-Waster

John Holmes’ Towelboy

Ye Holder of the Royal Colostomy Bag

Timer of Royal Online Services

Loyal Shatner

Rank Pussywillow

Dick of State

Rustic Tattletale

“Shimmy” Specialist

Hollow Cookie

Tried-and-True Basketcase

President’s Sacklunch

Executive in Charge of Artificial Broad Daylight

Sharp Edge of A Sphere

Ocular Ringworm

Proud Mother of Three Healthy Rats

Regis Philbin’s Hair

Acme Product-Tester

Soiler of Shortpants

Egg Timer

Male Victim of Spouse Abuse

Lapdancer

Tampon Applicator

Femme Reporter

Bay City Roller

Curator of the Last Bottle of OK Soda

European XXX Double-Dick Buttfucking, Fisting and Bestiality

Romp in the Woods

Rick Schroeder Starring in Lonesome Dove II

Steamer of Wrinkled Genitalia

Token Minority of the KKK

Puke Wrestler

A Whisper in Your Colon

The Secret Gay Son of the Kennedys

Francis Ford Coppola’s Blackula

Der Untermensch

Suspicious Lisp

Faithful Pissant

Caller of Booty

Lone Mutineer

Caine Raiser

Bottleopener

King’s Whore

Dungeonmaster

Magic Gatherer

Packing Material to the Stars

Best Tambouriner in the Land

Alcoholic Morning Reminder

Coffin For a Better Soul

Crab Meeter

Subtle Police Academy Expert

Executive in Charge of Fucking it All Up

Master Paranthetical Commenter (You Know?)

Bitchslapee

Prancing Machine

Milk Skimmer

Syringe Needle Finder

Janitor’s Garbageman

Press This Secretary

Resident Buttface

Official Hanson Fan

Dew Lover

Master of Mousetraps

Ass-At-Arms

Protector of the Presidential Jewels

Bullet Taker

Friend to Snipers

Obscene Phone Call Answering Machine

Unabomber Addressee

Bobby Brady’s Little Brother

Starship Trooper Trainee

His Highness’s Crackbaby

Sir Shit-For-Brains

Manless Mansion

Fart Marker

Green Weenie

Governor of Oklahoma

.

Executive in Charge of Shit/Shinola Distinguishing Committee

Fat Thigh Wrap

Thunderstrucker

Fart Taster

His Eminence, the Dope

Holder of No Diplomatic Immunity

Brash Stepladder

Imminent Asshole

Used Salad Scout

Teen Tart

Missing Link Stand-in

Royal Tease

Emmisary to the Dung Beetles

Race Car Bumper

Mr T’s Underarm Deodorant

Shit Sandwich

Arouser of Turkeys

Kris Kringle’s Crinkle

The Fruit of Martha Raye’s Buttocks

Nose-Hair Detangler

Lieutenant in Charge of Body Odor

Stuart Sutcliffe’s Bass

Unusually Pregnant Monkey

Food Tube

The Official Panty Liner of the ‘98 Winter Olympics

Richard Gere’s Gerbil Tester

The Dent in Mr. Scranton’s Favorite Chair

Akira Kurosawa’s Bran

Warped Snooze Button

The Green Testicle

Eater of Royal Scabs

Tackle Dummy

Garotte Necklace Wearer

Maker of Fine Cat’s Cradles

Slime Sucker

Saucer of Milk

Everpresent Harbinger of Doom

Fetish Expert

All Surgery “Before” Picture Example

Trusted Slinky

Shemp to the Gods

Holy Varmint

Canned Cheese Sucker

Tinier Tim

The Lactator

Weasley Trustbuster

Sunken Treasurer

Shadoe Stevens Preparer

Troubled Sod

Standup Dunston

Kibbles and Bitch

Hallowed Female-Player in Royal Players

Clownwipe

Office Sham

Court Jerkoff

Full-fledged “Dorkster”

Santa Faithhealer

Chanel Face

Random Butt Rabbit

Ceremonial Hack

Sadsack-At-Arms

Hamhocker

Nicely-Dressed Presidential Decoy

Screwball Extroidinaire

Trusted Fuck-up

Faithful Douche

Tongue Cyst of the Court

Arch-Crust

Sage of Bullocks

Royal Cockjockey

King’s Mailtester

Lampost

Official Bratwurst

Loyal Turd

Prince’s Klingon

Duke of Dingleberries

Proud Country Pothole

Kit Kat Snacker

Spit Receiver

Palace Limp-Dick

Broken Link in Chain of Command

Ambassador to Terrorists

Super Tumbleweed

Bodyslammer

Honorary Peon

Tub of Butter Left Out

Spank Rag of the Lord

Deviated Rectum

Cancer Pants

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