thisissue='       ';
quote='Let me out of this fucking box!';
quotename='Richard M. Nixon';
fortune='You will eat your own head in a bizarre theme-park mishap.';
miledate='1998';
milestone='Red Bagel takes the commune to the Internet, convinced it’s the best way to reach his loyal audience of porn enthusiasts and Babylon 5 fans.';
job='commune Treasurer';
jobdesc='Must be able to keep watch over and manage large amounts of cash. Should have own calculator, books, and large amounts of cash.';
toptitle='Favorite commune Features';
top1='Hydrogen: Our Silent Hero';
top2='Check Red Bagel’s Stocks';
top3='Let’s Defile Raoul Dunkin’s Mother';
top4='Cooking with Jimmy Carter';
top5='Plagiarize Lyrics By Bono';
etcdivider='200';
cookie='You are the jovial type who would gladly eat shit and ask for more, which will serve you well in the coming year, what with the shovel fork you got for Christmas. But for the sake of Buddha, remember to pack a roll of Certs. Lucky numbers 33, 57, 89, 105.';
fea1='';
fea1firstname='';
fea1lastname='';
fea1title='';
feat1blurb='';
feat1full='';
story2name='';
story2head='';
story2more='';
story2blurb='';
story3name='';
story3head='';
story3more='';
story3blurb='';
story4name='';
story4head='';
story4more='';
story4blurb='';
story5name='';
story5head='';
story5more='';
story5blurb='';