When you lose control of the situation, just keep lashing out until you feel important again.





MirandaRamsey:
Tammy Faye panics when a Rockford Files thug attempts to steal her mascara.


Scouty:
"...and you will know my name is the LORD when I..." "Nah, it's just not working." "Hey, I could grow a 'fro!" "You got the job, kid!"


kilroy105:
So the drinking age has been lowered to 14 now? Hmm... I might like this Sci-Fi 2.0 after all!


Easter_Bunn_A:
"Honey! Where are you going!? We've been married for forty years!" "The neighbors say you're a pedophile." "Mighty big word for a nine-year-old..."


JediClone:
Stevie Nicks IS Toonces The Driving Cat AS The robot from Pee Wee's Playhouse IN "I Dont Know What JediClone's Smoking, But I Want Some"


KINGDINOSAUR:
"Can someone refresh me on my line?" "BEN!!! The name of the fucking bear is BEN!"


Mr13:
On the next Pimp Daddy knows best:*THWACK* "I wanted Menthols Bitch!"


JediClone:
MacCuley Culken IN "NATO Peacekeeping Force Alone" *tied-up pipe swings out of the trees* *SLAM!* *thunk*


HanoverF:
Edward James Almos, Actor, Hostage Taker, Amatuer Magician... "Is your card, the Ace of spades?"


HanoverF:
"See look, Nary a leak from my Depends!" "MOM!!!" "And I poured hot chicken soup in them too!" "GAH!"


BuckFifty:
"I'd like to... teach? The world to sing... in perfect... what does that say? Oh, harmony. I'd like to buy the... damn... Oh, world! A Coke..."


amycamus:
"Try winding that key on her back, Bones. Gosh, Jim, I can't make heads or tails of these instructions!"


keogh:
"Is it a touch screen?" "Sure, you can touch the screen." "But does it do anything?" "Of course. How else would you see the info without a screen?"


Easter_Bunn_A:
"Watch in amazement as Rather Uninteresting Man aks his neighbor about the weather! Will she draw a gun? Will she flee the police on cocaine charges? Nooo!"


Hippie:
C'mon, now... labels only hurt and scar.


BuckFifty:
"...And welcome Bob Sagat to our studio folks." *polite applause* "So Bob, how do you like using our rectal thermometer?" "Kill me..."


BuckFifty:
"Whoa! Bob Sagat!" "I wonder who killed him..." "What's with the thermometer in his mouth?"


MadSigntist:
"The call was coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE! You know how much my cellphone bill is gonna be?"




cruise back to page 26

page 28


It's not whether you win or lose that counts.
It's how much pain you inflict on the way