Monday, Dec. 10, 2001
Snooty bugle-playing burglars
Why do you bother me?
Go to hell, you naked buglers
Cease your melody.
Who invited uncooked hamhocks
All these pigs I see?
Go away, freeloading pork pies
Get out my Christmas tree.
Get out Santa, get out Elvis
Get out Sandra Dee.
I don’t recall inviting anyone
To share my ginger tea.
Mister Walrus, Miss November
Tell me did you see
A sign hung from my door that said
“Please come and bother me”?
Were my windows not shut tightly?
Did my door not lock?
Was the hint too vague and subtle,
When I threw that rock?
Go on, get out! Every last shrew!
Every last motorcycle cop!
And I will surely lose my patience
Unless those bongos stop!
Clear out my house! Get out the door!
Leave my city block!
Don’t come back here even if
You forgot your sock!
No more mastiffs, no more lawyers,
No more mimes or cows
No more microbes selling Amway
Leave and I mean Now!
What now? What’s that?
No, my pills ran out.
Goodness, you’re right, call the doctor!
Thank you, Mr Trout.
Milestones
the commune's scratch 'n sniff look at last year's office potluck
Opportunities
Pants a Capitalist
Free Virus Baggies
Take a Kitten, Please
the commune book selections
the commune's Bear in Rearview
the commune's Big Book of Duke
Faces of the commune
the commune 100: Leaders and Revolutionaries
the commune 100: Traitors and Noodledicks
FAQ Shwartz |
Site Map's Somewhere in the Glovebox |
Search In Vain |
Contract Ick
Privacy Police |
Terms of Gary Busey |
Reprints & Persimmons |
Press Eject Now
Distraction
Fifteen phantom penpoints, All under my control.
Shuns
Who has been flushing your worldly possessions? Replacing your wardrobe with out-of-date fashions?
The Waistland
April be the month that’s meaner, Than a shot of carburetor cleaner, Or an icy, uncooked wiener, Said the raven: “Ned’s a Whore”.
The Crab
"I'm only ingesting asbestos in jest," said the tapdancing monkey with blood on his vest; I told him that I didn't think it was funny.
