Monday, Dec. 24, 2001
“Every Christmas was the same thing at my house. Us kids hung up our socks
by the chimney, except for Goose, who was not allowed to post socks anymore
due to that court order from the neighborhood block association.
Dad would dress up as Santa and ask all the kids what we wanted for
Christmas. Goose would want something different every year, and usually very
unreasonable requests at that. One year he asked for a pie as big as the living
room and another he wanted a donkey that could speak Spanish. I think Goose
was convinced it was more like a contest, like ‘Stump Santa!’ or something,
and consequently he would only get a football every year and they began to
pile up in his room.
It began to grate on Dad, who kept trying to get a gift that would pacify Goose
every year but Goose would always beat him. The year I got my Radio Flyer
wagon and Stephanie got her Holly Hobbie doll, Goose asked for a trunk full
of gunpowder. Dad came darn close that time, but on Christmas day he had
to forfeit when Goose discovered it was full of dyed flour cut with real
gunpowder. Made for quite an explosion anyway, and mom tried to fill the
thing with meaning by saying it was like a guiding star for the baby Jesus or
something, but we just thought it looked cool.
Goose won every year until that last one, when he got particularly uncreative
and asked for a giant robot suit he could climb inside. Dad had to quit work
and spend all day and night on it, and technically only the head part could
move, but it qualified under the rules Mom had established. Dad danced a jig
that night, and all Goose could do was shake his robot suit head in
disappointment.”
“Christmas”
Milestones
the commune's scratch 'n sniff look at last year's office potluck
Opportunities
Pants a Capitalist
Free Virus Baggies
Take a Kitten, Please
the commune book selections
the commune's Bear in Rearview
the commune's Big Book of Duke
Faces of the commune
the commune 100: Leaders and Revolutionaries
the commune 100: Traitors and Noodledicks
FAQ Shwartz |
Site Map's Somewhere in the Glovebox |
Search In Vain |
Contract Ick
Privacy Police |
Terms of Gary Busey |
Reprints & Persimmons |
Press Eject Now
"Moon"
In the glory days of childhood I could sit for hours and stare up at the sky, provided it was dark. I would count the stars, lose count, start over from scratch, lose count again, swear very loudly, give up, and just look at the moon.
"Radio"
One day my brother Goose and I had treed a cat. It was barrels of fun, until we heard mom yell from the backporch, 'Kids! Come in and see!'
"First Kiss"
I remember quite clearly the first girl I ever kissed. I was very young and inexperienced, no older than 13. No younger than 13 either. In fact, I was 13.
"Penpal"
In my younger days I had a penpal named LeShandy. He was a boy roughly the same age and lived in a faraway place I had never heard of called Iceland.
"Penny Candy"
In my childhood there was a penny-candy store on the corner, run by a rail-thin
immigrant who was constantly in jail when the country was at war.
"Darby"
Uncle Trey had a dog that we all liked a lot, a dog by the name of Darby. He was a
small white dog with wiry hair, I think he was a Jack Russell terrier.
