Tiger Woods Thinks He's A Goddamned Writer Now
Big golf guy, insufferable jerk puts out new book 
BY TED TED Pebble Beach, NC

COURTESY WARNER BOOKS Woods brings to literature what Taco brought to music

Golf pro and sports celebrity Tiger Woods, unable to confine himself to every fucking T.V. commercial on the air and sporting event there is, has recently written and published a book, obviously thinking himself a writer now.

Woods, who has no proven talent with words or prose, is the “author” of How I Play Golf, an instructional guide on the overrated game he’s famous for playing published by Warner Books at the unrealistic retail price of $34.95.

The book, which is surely hard to drudge through and a perfect gift for people who like shitty reading material, is called by some critics an energetic and enthusiastic guide to golf beginners as well as an insightful study of Woods’ own passion for the game. However, the book is actually lame-ass.

At 320 pages, the book stands as the longest publicity ad for a sports figure in quite some time.

Although Woods could not be reached for comment, being such a god among men he doesn’t have time to return phone calls to reporters, it is believed he will next try to walk on water or heal the lepers. Good fucking luck to the superman.

the commune news has told you “no comment” and they mean “no comment,” and don’t print that. Ted Ted’s golf game is down to 32 strokes, nearly half the number of actual strokes Ted Ted has had due to his huge temper.