Clinton Strikes Back
President answers calls for impeachment with 45-minute riff 
BY RAOUL DUNKIN Washington, DC

MAXI SHORE/AP President Clinton putting the “party” back in partisan politics

In what appeared to be a reaction to increasing Republican impeachment efforts, President Clinton today used his State of the Union address to launch what former House Whatchamathingy Newt Gingrich termed “Slick Willy's Def Comedy Jam.” The 45-minute speech consisted mainly of a long riff on comedian Jeff Foxworthy's popular “You Might Be a Redneck...” comedy routine, skewed to address Clinton's Republican detractors. An excerpt follows:

“If you’ve been on CNN more than three times talking about how funny Rush Limbaugh is, you might be a Republican! If you think a blow job is a woman’s hairstyle, you might be a Republican! If you deny having nipples at all, you might be a Republican! If you’ve ever pissed on homeless children to keep from having to wait in line for the men’s room at a public event, you might be a Republican!

“If you think food stamps are a special Thanksgiving issue from the Post Office... you might be a Republican! If you've ever spoken the words ‘Andy Rooney's got a point there...’ you might be a Republican! If you haven’t had sex since Dick Nixon was in office... you might be a Republican! You suck, Goodnight!”

Asked to comment on Clinton’s use of his routine, Foxworthy commented: “If you know what Elvis Presley’s farts taste like, you might be a redneck! Thank you, goodnight!” Former presidential candidate Bob Dole was less amenable. “Bob Dole's never spanked any Puerto Ricans! Bob Dole's not sorry and you can kiss Bob Dole's black ass!”

Puerto Ricans could not be reached for comment.

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