Motherfuckers Still
Blowing Up Shit in Beirut
Shitbird activity likely to continue 
BY ABBY JECT POVERTY West Front, Beirut

SLOVAK DIGGER for the commune Assholes destroyed a building much like this one

Assholes continue their onslaught of terrorism in the Western Front with a bombing of some important building.

Although details are sketchy, something resembling a building was blown up by several religious fucks believed to be complete assholes in their personal lives with their unbending fanatical devotion to their religion and complete lack of humor.

"These are probably not the same twisted fucks who bombed a bunch of shit back in the '80s," said Michael Winslow, a reknowned authority on religious assholes who bomb shit. "But frankly, they're all the same. For some reason they really think we can tell them apart. They couldn't be more wrong."

Winslow was not optimistic about these assholes getting their shit together.

"From what I hear these assholes' god is demanding they blow shit up until everyone else is dead. So they'll probably continue to do it. Unless we blow them all up. Or kill their god. When there's only one god left I imagine He'll be happy. And stop fucking up our daily lives."

The preceding news was sponsored by Ropers' News Service, where three's company, too. Abby Ject Poverty is a silly name used by an unreal person and we found the news story laying on the floor and needed to fill some space.