A game for the whole family 

As you may remember, longtime commune contributor Raoul Dunkin left his prestigious position for the flash and sequinned pomp and circumstance of a job elsewhere. But as you know, our motto here at the commune is "No hard feelings!" (No copyright infringement intended against Pfizer, Viagra, or any of their associations or their trademarked motto). We think Raoul is a fine reporter of remarkable talent and we urge him to return! Not only will we fully reinstate him at his previous rate of pay, with all benefits resumed, but we'll offer him his own choice of promotion! Raoul is welcome to choose from our long list of available positions!

Rin Tin Tin HindcleanerTree Sap President, Zimbabwe Division of Loyal Jon Bon Jovi Fans High-Maintenance Lawn Jockey Burt Reynolds' Jock Strap Hall Monitor Vice President Latrine Archaeologist Personal Assistant to Puppet Master Inventor of Saucy Titles Male Psychic Concubine Blimp Landing Gear Long Dong Silver Official in Charge of Self-Touching Coverup Rhinestone Cowboy Colostomy Bag with Arms Toilet Mint Crank Dealer For the Nation's Elderly Poor Marion Barry Happy Felcher Manchild Slurper Ribbed For Her Pleasure Seedy Part of Town Abstract Barf The Dreaded Rear Admiral Charles Bronson Pinchot Furets de Kilimanjaro Fishing Lure Prototype Round Robin Tournament of Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue Christmas Without You Light Up My Life Sucks, Then You Die Hernia Yanker Teenybopper Fan Shyster Lover Middleclass Object of Resentment Her Majesty's Regret Weenie Tracker Skilless Pharmacist Lord's Weight-Guesser Spanker of Royal Monkey Less-Than-Butch Butcher Her Majesty's Drag Queen Royal Example Jim J. Bullock of the Court Long-Loved Prison Toy Saluter of Those About to Rock Shameless Urinary Infection Trump Outhouse Self-Kinged Peasant Royal Navel-Wetter Tub Warmer Floor for "Stomp!" Reminder of Evildoing Man of Teal Hellbounder Neo-Lewdite Scare Sheryl Crow Queen's Breast Lump Laminated Mistake Mocker of Fine Arts Shits Ahoy! Fallout Shelter Tester Keeper of All That is Lame Ass-Crack Measurer of the Land International Incidenter Baby Cub Bear Boxer Covert Milksop Defender of Hack Foul Breath Judge Staircase Bannister TBS Programming Guide Loophole Spackle Female Ejaculate Fickle Don Rickles Dick Tickler Roseanne's Stool Practicing Pedophile Wrong Way Sign on an Airplane Runway Mediocre Handjobber Buried Refuse King's Sham Court Cockring Jester Presser Starry-Eyed Demon Master of Brown-Baggin'-It Chunky Bunkmate The Unoiled Anus of God Shitty Smurf .

Shallow Diver President's Asian Geisha Boy Missionary Position Official Middle Finger President's Bumper Trusted Pete Best Little Big Little Man Official Self-Toucher Les Miserable Premiere Oxygen-Waster John Holmes' Towelboy Ye Holder of the Royal Colostomy Bag Timer of Royal Online Services Loyal Shatner Rank Pussywillow Dick of State Rustic Tattletale "Shimmy" Specialist Hollow Cookie Tried-and-True Basketcase President's Sacklunch Executive in Charge of Artificial Broad Daylight Sharp Edge of A Sphere Ocular Ringworm Proud Mother of Three Healthy Rats Regis Philbin's Hair Acme Product-Tester Soiler of Shortpants Egg Timer Male Victim of Spouse Abuse Lapdancer Tampon Applicator Femme Reporter Bay City Roller Curator of the Last Bottle of OK Soda European XXX Double-Dick Buttfucking, Fisting and Bestiality Romp in the Woods Rick Schroeder Starring in Lonesome Dove II Steamer of Wrinkled Genitalia Token Minority of the KKK Puke Wrestler A Whisper in Your Colon The Secret Gay Son of the Kennedys Francis Ford Coppola's Blackula Der Untermensch Suspicious Lisp Faithful Pissant Caller of Booty Lone Mutineer Caine Raiser Bottleopener King's Whore Dungeonmaster Magic Gatherer Packing Material to the Stars Best Tambouriner in the Land Alcoholic Morning Reminder Coffin For a Better Soul Crab Meeter Subtle Police Academy Expert Executive in Charge of Fucking it All Up Master Paranthetical Commenter (You Know?) Bitchslapee Prancing Machine Milk Skimmer Syringe Needle Finder Janitor's Garbageman Press This Secretary Resident Buttface Official Hanson Fan Dew Lover Master of Mousetraps Ass-At-Arms Protector of the Presidential Jewels Bullet Taker Friend to Snipers Obscene Phone Call Answering Machine Unabomber Addressee Bobby Brady's Little Brother Starship Trooper Trainee His Highness's Crackbaby Sir Shit-For-Brains Manless Mansion .

Executive in Charge of Shit/Shinola Distinguishing Committee Fat Thigh Wrap Thunderstrucker Fart Taster His Eminence, the Dope Holder of No Diplomatic Immunity Brash Stepladder Imminent Asshole Used Salad Scout Teen Tart Missing Link Stand-in Royal Tease Emmisary to the Dung Beetles Race Car Bumper Mr T's Underarm Deodorant Shit Sandwich Arouser of Turkeys Kris Kringle's Crinkle The Fruit of Martha Raye's Buttocks Nose-Hair Detangler Lieutenant in Charge of Body Odor Stuart Sutcliffe's Bass Unusually Pregnant Monkey Food Tube The Official Panty Liner of the '98 Winter Olympics Richard Gere's Gerbil Tester The Dent in Mr. Scranton's Favorite Chair Akira Kurosawa's Bran Warped Snooze Button The Green Testicle Eater of Royal Scabs Tackle Dummy Garotte Necklace Wearer Maker of Fine Cat's Cradles Slime Sucker Saucer of Milk Everpresent Harbinger of Doom Fetish Expert All Surgery "Before" Picture Example Trusted Slinky Shemp to the Gods Holy Varmint Canned Cheese Sucker Tinier Tim The Lactator Weasley Trustbuster Sunken Treasurer Shadoe Stevens Preparer Troubled Sod Standup Dunston Kibbles and Bitch Hallowed Female-Player in Royal Players Clownwipe Office Sham Court Jerkoff Full-fledged "Dorkster" Santa Faithhealer Chanel Face Random Butt Rabbit Ceremonial Hack Sadsack-At-Arms Hamhocker Nicely-Dressed Presidential Decoy Screwball Extroidinaire Trusted Fuck-up Faithful Douche Tongue Cyst of the Court Arch-Crust Sage of Bullocks Royal Cockjockey King's Mailtester Lampost Official Bratwurst Loyal Turd Prince's Klingon Duke of Dingleberries Proud Country Pothole Kit Kat Snacker Spit Receiver Palace Limp-Dick Broken Link in Chain of Command Ambassador to Terrorists Super Tumbleweed Bodyslammer Honorary Peon Tub of Butter Left Out .