Alanis Morissette Relieved
Age of Irony is Over
Singer's long nightmare is, like, finally finished 
BY STIGMATA SPENT New York City, NY

TABITHA ROOTER/AP Morissette ironically wearing pajamas during the daytime

Informed recently that the Age if Irony is now officially dead, singer/songwriter Alanis Morissette held a brief press conference near Times Square today to express her relief. Stung by past criticism regarding her incorrect examples of events that she assumed illustrated irony, Morissette told a small crowd of reporters how grateful she was that her “long nightmare has, like, finally ended.”

Reading from a prepared statement, Morissette went on to say, “I am like so totally happy this has happened, you know? I mean, like I’m sorry it took a whole bunch of people being killed for it to come about and all, but still, you know what I mean, right? Because, I mean, like, what if one of the guys that was in the World Trade Center that day had, like, won the lottery the day before? Or what if he was going to win it like the day after that happened, but he couldn’t because he, like, died or whatever? Or what if there were like two people in there, and it, like, rained on their wedding day? I mean, like, I think you see my point, right?”

When asked for further clarification, Morissette simply shrugged and said, “Well, you know, I’m just all like, what-ever. I mean like, you know?”

In concluding her remarks, Morissette spent five minutes twirling around in a circle with her hands in the air. She then proceeded to remove all her clothing, and walked the five blocks back to her hotel unescorted.

Stigmata Spent has been on assignment in Nueva York for the past month, and wishes to report that the Puerto Rican boys there are “¡muy sabroso!”