the commune

A.D. Enemy

Copping the stance of great men doesn't make for great men. â€” A.D. Enemy

Milestones

1965: commune columnist Rok Finger coins the slang term "Dingleberry" at a father-son picnic attended solely by his numerous illegitimate offspring.

Now Hiring

Doormat. Co-dependant with poor sense of boundaries needed to do the work of three men and two women, allowing the commune to do our part in this jobless recovery. Cot in back available for qualified applicant.

Top Shocking New Barry Bonds Allegations

1.	Extra 45 pounds of muscle added in 1998 not actually from special "Reverse-Atkins Crazy Carboholics" diet
2.	Injected Flubber into testicles, just for hell of it
3.	Paunchy, long-haired trainer "Camaro Dan" not actual fitness expert
4.	Dosed with Nyquilâ€”during daylight hours!
5.	Bonds' bats made from genetically-modified maple trees
6.	Therapeutic skin grafts actually beef grafts
7.	Bonds-endorsed "Human Growth Flakes" cereal not safe for children
8.	Bonds didn't actually write "Surfin' Safari"
9.	Tasmanian Devil hormone injections not a court-ordered road rage treatment
10.	Friends, relatives refer to Bonds as "Skippy"

The Tax Cut
Congress has recently passed a $350 billion tax cut designed by President Bush to boost the economy, but can a cut that only adds to a ballooning federal deficit have any effect but to shake a nation's confidence in its government while saddling... (5/26/03)

Safter with Nukes?
Wherever you stand on the Bush presidency, the White House's encouragement that Congress lift a 10-year ban on small-scale nuclear weapons must at least seem short-sighted. Coming out of a war with a comparatively low body count where nuclear... (5/12/03)