10/25/26
Cat-proof since 2004
|  The Joker  May 15, 2001 Some people call me… the "space cowboy." Some call me the "gangster of love." Some people call me "Maurice"—wahnt wah—because I speak of the pompatus of love. People talk about me, baby—say I'm doing you wrong. "Doing you wrong"! Well, don't you worry, baby, don't worry. 'Cause I'm right here; right here, right here at home. 'Cause I'm a picker. I'm a grinner. I'm a lover—and I'm a sinner. I play my music in the sun. I'm a joker, I'm a smoker; I'm a midnight-toker. I get my lovin' on the run. You're the cutest thing I ever did see. I really love your peaches; wanna shake your tree. Lovey-dovey. Lovey-dovey. Lovey-dovey all the time. Ooo-wee, baby, I sure show you a good time. 'Cause I'm a picker. I'm a grinner. I'm a lover—and I'm a sinner. I play my music in the sun. I'm a joker, I'm a smoker; I'm a midnight-toker. I sure don't want to hurt no one. People keep talking about me baby: Say I'm doing you wrong. But don't you worry, don't worry, no don't worry, momma. 'Cause I'm right here at home. Editor's Note: As you may have guessed, Rok Finger had an embarrassing incident with a stage magician over the weekend and has assumed the new identity of Steve Miller of the Steve Miller Band; hopefully temporarily. With luck, Rok's regular identity and column will be restored next time. Quote of the Day“Love is blindness, deafness, muteness, retardation, spinal bifida, shingles, crotch rot, Alzheimer's, malaria, gout, rubella…”-Doctor Love Fortune 500 CookieDon't spit, shit, or knit into the wind this week; as a matter of fact—stay out of the wind entirely. And those gibberish Mariachi lyrics you've been humming for the last three years—time to give that a rest. You will be mortified this week to discover that the family camping trips you've been repressing since childhood were the inspiration for Brokeback Mountain, and that you're not actually related to your uncle Phil. This week's lucky colas: Mister Flat, Diet Riot, Vanilla RBX174, Buurp, Cherry Fairy, PreP, Pepsi-dAC.Try again later. Top Other Inventions by the Crash Test Dummy Creator
 Some People Call Me the Space Cowboy Good people, the most wondrous of wonderful, funderful, magical things has happened to me! I was hit in the side by a dirty van while crossing the street and gravely injured. That's not the good part, but I'm getting to that—let's take the long... (5/15/01) I Can't Get Up Help me! Good people, this is not a lark, I'm serious—I've fallen and I can't get up. I can excuse the snickering and guffaws from the peanut gallery. I, too, have witnessed those B-grade commercials for elderly alarm devices in which pathetic... (4/16/01) This is High-Grade Stuff As my readers know, I believe strongly in charity—one look at my wife will tell you that. She holds the demeanor and loving look of a woman who's weathered many a charity event at her husband's side. So most Rokophiles are well aware of "Rok... (3/16/01)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.