Comedian Andy Dick
Arrested for Exposing Name
Blockbuster employee surnamically assaulted 
BY TRUMAN PRUDY Las Vegas, NV

REX NEWTON for the commune Andy Dick in happier times

Comedian Andy Dick was arrested last Tuesday night while applying for a membership card in a local Blockbuster Video retail location. Dick was asked to display his driver’s license during the application process, at which time the cashier, Miss Trudy Watts of North Las Vegas, read his name, fainted, and hit her head on the counter. Dick was apprehended by an off-duty police officer who was in the store at the time.

“I was there to rent Lethal Weapon 4 when I saw what happened. So I did what I thought Riggs & Murtaw would do. I went to the payphone outside and called for backup,” said Vegas police officer Harold Turnbill, recounting his harrowing experience.

Luckily for the people of Las Vegas, Dick was still at the scene when crews arrived. An arrest was made, and the 137 pound Dick was stuffed into a police cruiser through an open window. Authorities are uncertain as of yet whether this was an isolated incident or rather part of a wanton crime spree, though they fear the latter.

“I remember I was scared. Scared and uncomfortable, and then painful because of the counter hitting my head,” said Watts shortly after the incident.

Dick was also booked on charges of impersonating a celebrity. “He claimed to be on some kind of TV show, but I ain't never seen him on ER,” stated Turnbill, visibly shaken by the experience. Dick is being held at the Las Vegas City Correctional Facility on $80,000 bail.

Truman Prudy was formerly the editor of Crumpets and Trumpets, Great Britan’s long-time bastion of upper class wit. He was recently caught in a compromising position with a box of popcorn during a screening of Bang ‘em High at the New Brighton XXX Theatre. the commune News welcomes his addition of style, wit, and an inability to avoid practical jokes to our staff.