American Media Can Shut Up About Harry Potter Any Time Now
Americans not living in caves get it already 
BY TED TED Hollywood, CA

MITE YARNMOUTH/AP Harry Potter, who most Americans hope will magically disappear for like five seconds.

Spokespeople for the American media-consuming culture spoke Friday, sending out the word that we hear what you’re saying about this Harry Potter phenomenon and the American media can lay off for a little while already.

Besieged by reports about the success of the hugely popular Harry Potter books by British author J.K. Rowling, the American public has recently been assaulted with constant unwanted information about the film Harry Potter and the Soceror’s Stone, released Nov. 16, 2001 to monstrous audiences, making it one of the most successful movies of 2001.

“What are we, five?” said spokesperson for the American public Ralph Mackie.

“Yeah, okay, just shut up about the shit already, okay?” pleaded spokesperson Nancy Shumaker. “I know all about the movie and I don’t give a rat’s ass. I don’t have any kids or nothing, what do you want me to do? Am I really supposed to care?”

Spokesperson John Umala empathized. “I just was starting to enjoy not hearing about friggin’ Survivor every five seconds, then I’m blasted at every angle by terrorism. Can’t I get a minute of peace without being slammed with over-hype on anything?”

When questioned about any possible chance of shutting the fuck up about it, executives at Warner Bros. declined to comment. No guarantees to stop talking about it for at least a minute were made.

The corporate-generated media hype is possibly the largest since 1999, when nearly every facet of the American media refused to give Star Wars: The Phantom Menace a rest, will you?

the commune news really wants to hurt you, really wants to make you cry. Ted Ted is unable to stay dry-eyed through any episode of Little House on the Prairie, that Laura Ingalls was just so darling.