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C O L U M N S
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Sampson L. Hartwig Remembers
In my younger days I had a penpal named LeShandy. He was a boy roughly the same age and lived in a faraway place I had never heard of called Iceland.
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F E A T U R E S
Clarise Sickhead's Bedtime Stories For Children
Once upon a time there was a happy couple who could not, you know, have a kid. They went to doctor after doctor until they found one who told them he could help her get pregnant, but neither the husband nor wife were happy with his suggestion and she slapped him curtly.
Entertainment Police
Sweet Jesus America, are you back again already? It looks like Uncle Roland will have to dig deep into his bag of goodies for some tender morsels to keep you entertainment hounds happy!
the commune's Poetry Coroner
April be the month that’s meaner, Than a shot of carburetor cleaner, Or an icy, uncooked wiener, Said the raven: “Ned’s a Whore”.
G A M E S
Let's Promote Raoul Dunkin!
If you have any more suggestions for promotional titles that might bring Raoul Dunkin back on board the commune, let us know!
the commune's Manifestos of Fun
A trail guide or street weirdo, whatever the hell he was, anyway this guy who kept reaching into his pants named Lansford Hastings had produced a leaflet claming he had found a car-cleaning place that didn't charge extra for getting fried cashews out of your upholstery.
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B r e a k i n g N e w s
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U IGNORANT
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Handimaster 3000
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Now Playing at You're Shittin' Me Theater
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the commune's
Quote of the Day
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It's Here!
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