in DAD'S basement

by paul windeMere

September 17, 2001

at night
A lone
i watch
HAPPY DAYS
whilst sleeping
lies dad
turn it DOWN
says dad
and bangs upon
the floor

sometimes
i wish i
was the FONZ
make believe
dad was
mr. C
he would give
fatherly
advice
instead of
calling me
shithead

i would
bring home
CHICKS
with all their
teeth
and dad would
not fart
and laugh
ho ho ho ho

today
did you
look for
a job?
no, dad
no no no
i'm finding
myself
you will
find my foot
in your ass
find
a job

dad
get off
the phone
i'm talking
to MARVIN
dad
i can tell
you didn't
hang up
get off
the phone

dad
you asshole
i'm not on smack
or
the goofballs
quit going
in my room
i pay
no rent
except
my soul

Quote of the Day

“The stars at night are big and bright, deep in the heart of Texas! Except near Houston, Dallas or Fort Worth. Talk about your smog. Jesus, this song's gonna need another verse.”

-Clement B. Doogle

Fortune 500 Cookie

Mama said there'd be days like this, but the bitch lied. The success or failure of this coming week hinges on your proper understanding of the word "gonad," so take our advice and go buy a dictionary now, Skippy. Order lots of Chinese food this week, but don't pick it up. This week's lucky accidents: back-flip off ladder onto hardwood floor, lip caught on drain while bathtub's full, wearing flammable jumpsuit to Great White concert, 15 car pile-up.

Try again later.

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