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Movies I Missed Edition
Transformers, The Dark Knight, Avatar, Inception (11/18/11)
May 24, 2011
Besidesmaids, Fast Five, The Handover 2, Kung Fu Pander 2, Pilates of the Caribbean 4: On Stronger Tards, Thorpe, X-Men: No Class (5/24/11)
Orson Welch’s Favorite Movies of All Time
The Great Muppet Caper, Yojimbo, THX-1138, Paris on Fire (6/18/07)
May 14, 2007
Live Free or Die Hard, Pilates of the Caribbean 2: At World’s Fair, Shrek the Turd, Three Spider-Men and a Baby (5/14/07)
May 7, 2007
Spider-Man 3, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Shrek the Third, Across the Universe (5/7/07)
April 16, 2007
Disturbia, The Hoax, Perfect Stranger, Are We Done, Yeti? (4/16/07)
April 9, 2007
300, Blades of Glory, TMNT, Grindhouse (4/9/07)
April 2, 2007
Blades of Glory, Honey, I Think I Love My Wife, Peter Pan’s Labyrinth, Rocky Balboa (4/2/07)
March 12, 2007
Ghost Rider, The Number 23, Zodiac, Wild Hogs (3/12/07)
2006 Movies
The Deep Hearted, Fags of Our Fathers, Hero Jim, Babe!, The Queen, Lidle Missed Sunshine, Volver, Lucky Number Slevin, United 93, Preachy Home Companion (2/5/07)
2006 Movies
Borat, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, Letters From Iwo Jima, World Trade Center, Flight 93 (1/15/07)
2006 Oscarama!
 2   0    0     6 Oscarama! What's that smell,... (3/27/06)
February 27, 2006
Brokeback Mountain, Good Night, and Good Luck, Crash, Munich, Capote, Walk the Line (2/27/06)
January 16, 2006
Brokeback Mountin’, Fun with Dick and Jane, Keen Kong, The Lying Bitch in the Worn Robe (1/16/06)
December 12, 2005
Fantastic Four, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, The Wedding Crashers, The Island (12/12/05)
November 28, 2005
Get Rick or Die Tryin’, Jarhead, Legend of Gonzo, Shopgirl, The Whether Man (11/28/05)
November 7, 2005
Star Wars, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, House of Wax, Madagascar (11/7/05)
October 24, 2005
Elizabethtown, A History of Violins, Serenity, Two for the Money (10/24/05)
October 10, 2005
The Interpreter, Kingdom of Heaven, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Kicking and Screaming (10/10/05)
September 26, 2005
Everything is Illuminati, Flightplan, Proof, Tim Burton’s Corpse Pride (9/26/05)
September 19, 2005
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Mindhunters, The Longest Yard, Robots (9/19/05)
September 12, 2005
The Constant Gardener, The Exorcism of Axl Rose, Thumbsucker, The Transplanter 2 (9/12/05)
September 5, 2005
Empire Falls, Fever Pitch, Lost, Fraggle Rock (9/5/05)
August 29, 2005
The Brothel Grimm, The Dukes of Gazzara, The 4-Year-Old Virgin, Wedding Crushers (8/29/05)
August 22, 2005
Kung Fu Hustle, Sin City, The Wedding Date, The Brown Bunny (8/22/05)
July 11, 2005
Charlie and the C+C Music Factory, Dork Water, Fantastic Four (7/11/05)
July 4, 2005
Dear Frankie, Prozac Nation, A Very Long Engagement, Million Dollar Baby (7/4/05)
June 27, 2005
Herbie: Fully Loaded, Land's End of the Dead, March of the Penguins, War of the World's Worst Dressers (6/27/05)
June 20, 2005
Coach Carter, Hostage, The Pacifier, Diary of a Mad Black Woman (6/20/05)
June 13, 2005
Batman Vegans, The Honeymoonies, Mr. and Mrs. Smith (6/13/05)
June 6, 2005
TV on DVD (6/6/05)
May 30, 2005
Cinderella Man, The Gaylords of Dogtown, The Longest Turd, Madagastro (5/30/05)
May 23, 2005
Kinsey, The Aviator, Pooh's Heffalump Movie, The Boogeyman (5/23/05)
May 16, 2005
Domingo: Presequel to the Exorcist, Mimehunters, Munsters-in-Law, Star Wars: Revenge of the Smiths (5/16/05)
May 9, 2005
The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou, In Good Company, Assault on Precinct 13, Team America (5/9/05)
May 2, 2005
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Kingdom of Heathens, xXx: State of the Union (5/2/05)
April 25, 2005
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, Blade: Trinity, The Phantom of the Opera, National Treasure (4/25/05)
April 18, 2005
The Spamityville Horror (4/18/05)
April 11, 2005
Ocean's Twelve, Hotel Rwanda, Meet the Fockers, House of Flying Daggers (4/11/05)
April 4, 2005
Beaver Pitch, Booty Shop, Sim City (4/4/05)
March 28, 2005
Closer, Elektra, Spanglish, Sideways (3/28/05)
March 21, 2005
Guess Who, The Jacket, The Ring 2, Robutz (3/21/05)
March 14, 2005
The Incredibles, What the Bleep Do We Know?, Finding Neverland (3/14/05)
March 7, 2005
Be Cool, Constantinople, Cursed, Son of MASK (3/7/05)
Oscar's Worst
In celebration of the Oscars, my personal favorite annual travesty of cinema, I thought I would forego the usual DVD review for my recollections on the worst of all Oscar winners. True, it's mostly because there are few, if any, first-run movies... (2/28/05)
Osctoberfest 2005
Grab your nuts and yank, America, it's Oscars time! What some have called "the most wonderful time of the year" in a mistaken interpretation of Christmas songs is finally upon us. The glitz, the glamour, and the total disrespect for artistic... (2/21/05)
February 14, 2005
The Motorcycle Diaries, Saw, I Heart Huckabees (2/14/05)
February 7, 2005
The Boogeyman, Itch, Pooh's Hemp Movie, The Wedding Date (2/7/05)
January 31, 2005
The Grudge, Shall We Dance?, Shark Tale, The Notebook (1/31/05)
January 24, 2005
The Alligator, Fat Albert, Million Dollar Baby, Meet the Froggers (1/24/05)
January 17, 2005
The Forgotten, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, Ray, Alien Vs. Predator (1/17/05)
January 10, 2005
Electra, Hotel Rwanda, Racist Stripes (1/10/05)
December 20, 2004
King Arthur, De-Lovely, The Manchurian Candidate (12/20/04)
December 13, 2004
House of Flying Buggers, The Life Aquatic with Vanilla Zissou, Ocean's Twelve (12/13/04)
December 6, 2004
The Bourne Supremacy, Dodgeball, I, Robot (12/6/04)
November 29, 2004
Alexander, Christmas with the Crack, National Treasure, The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie (11/29/04)
November 15, 2004
Elf, The Chronicles of Riddick, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (11/15/04)
November 1, 2004
The Grunge, Ralphie, Teen America Womb Police (11/1/04)
October 18, 2004
Van Helsing, Garfield: The Movie, Dawn of the Dead (10/18/04)
October 4, 2004
The Forgotten, National Lampoon's Gold Niggers, Shy Captain and the World of Sbarro (10/4/04)
September 20, 2004
The Star Wars Trilogy, Mean Girls, Cigarettes and Coffee (9/20/04)
September 6, 2004
Anacondors: The Hunt for the Blood Orchard, The Brown Bunny, Suspect Zero (9/6/04)
August 23, 2004
The Girl Next Door, The Punisher, The Passion of the Christ (8/23/04)
August 9, 2004
Open Water, The Porn Supremacy, The Village People (8/9/04)
July 12, 2004
Fahrvergnugen 9/11, I, Gobot, King Arthur (7/12/04)
June 28, 2004
Cold Mountain, The Dreamers, Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London (6/28/04)
June 14, 2004
Chronicles of Ritter, Garfield, Susan Powter and the Prisoner of Azkican (6/14/04)
May 31, 2004
Monster, 50 First Dates, Bad Santa (5/31/04)
May 17, 2004
13 Going on 30, Man on Fire, National Lampoon's Van Helsing, New York Minute (5/17/04)
May 3, 2004
The Last Samurai, Calendar Girls, Girl With a Pearl Earring (5/3/04)
April 19, 2004
Hellboy, Kill Bill Vol 2, The Punisher, Walken Tall (4/19/04)
April 5, 2004
Matrix Revolutions, Cheaper by the Dozen, Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (4/5/04)
March 15, 2004
The Acid Flashback of the Christ, Hidalgo, Starsky & Hooch (3/15/04)
March 8, 2004
Schindler's List, Mona Lisa Smile, 21 Grams (3/8/04)
2004 Oscars Madness!
Well holy hell in a hand basket, America, looks like it's time for another swing at the Oscar piñata. Doesn't it seem like we just did this? Well, that's because we did, apparently the sun is collapsing so our earth years are getting exponentially... (3/1/04)
February 23, 2004
Matchstick Men, The Missing, Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2/23/04)
February 16, 2004
50 First Dates, Clifford's Really Big Mookie, Gyrotrip (2/16/04)
February 9, 2004
In the Cut, Sylvia, Intolerable Cruelty, The Lion King 1½ (2/9/04)
February 2, 2004
Barbieshop 2: Back in Bidness, The Big Bounce, Miracle (2/2/04)
January 26, 2004
Radio, Lost in Translation, Under the Tuscan Sun (1/26/04)
January 19, 2004
Along Came Paulie, The Butterfinger Effect, Mindhunters (1/19/04)
Cream of the Crop of 2003
The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, Mystic River, La Toad D'Wont (1/12/04)
January 5, 2004
Cheaper by the Dozen, Come on Eileen: The Story of a Serial Killer, My Daddy's Baby (1/5/04)
December 22, 2003
Cold Mountain, House of the Sandy Frog, Mona Lisa Simile, Monster, Paycheck (12/22/03)
December 8, 2003
Honey, The Last Samurai Show, Lords of the Ring: Rerun of the King, Pig Fish, Something's Gotta Give Jack Nicholson a Heart Attack, Stuck on Your Ass (12/8/03)
November 24, 2003
21 Grams of Fat, Battlestar Gothica, Black Santa, Dr. Seuss Shat in a Hat, The Haunted Manson, Timeline (11/24/03)
November 10, 2003
Bastard Commander: The Far Side of the World, Brother Bear, Good Boy!, Looney Tunes: Back Door Action, The Matrix Restitutions, The Texas Chain Store Massacre (11/10/03)
October 27, 2003
In the Cute, The Human Stain, Radio, Scary Movie 3, The Swinging Detective (10/27/03)
October 13, 2003
The House of the Dead, Intolerable Cruelty, Kill Bill Vol. 1, Miss Tick River, Runaway Jury (10/13/03)
September 29, 2003
Duplex, Out of Time, School of Rock, Shit Creek Manor, Wonderland (9/29/03)
September 15, 2003
Cabin Fever, Matchstick Men, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Secondhand Lions, Underworld (9/15/03)
September 1, 2003
The Backyard, Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star, Jeepers Creepers 2, The Order, Party Monster (9/1/03)
August 18, 2003
American Splendor, Freddy vs. Jason, Grind, Open Range, Shaolin Soccer, Uptown Girls (8/18/03)
August 4, 2003
American Wedding, Fucking Friday, Gigli, The Secret Lives of Dennis, S.W.A.T. (8/4/03)
July 21, 2003
Bed Boys II, Lara Croft Tomb Raider: Rock the Cradle of Love, Seabiscuit, Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (7/21/03)
July 7, 2003
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde, Pirates of the Caribbean The Ride The Movie: The Curse of the Black Pearl Harbor, Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Sequel, Terminator 3: Rise of the Meatheads (7/7/03)
June 23, 2003
28 Days Later, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, Jet Lag, When Harry Met Lloyd: Dumb and Dumberer (6/23/03)
June 9, 2003
2 Fast 2 Furious, Daniel Day-Care, Hollywood Homicide, The In-Laws, The Italian Job, Love the Hard Way, Rugrats Gone Wild (6/9/03)
May 26, 2003
The Matrix Rebooted, Finding Remo, Bruised Almighty, The Hoke, Downey with Love (5/26/03)
May 12, 2003
The Lizzie McGuire Movie, Owning Mahowny, The Real Cancun, Whale Rider, X2: X-Men United (5/12/03)
April 28, 2003
Anger Management, Bulletproof Monkey, Holes, House of 1000 Islands, Identity (4/28/03)
April 14, 2003
Bend it Like Beck's Ham, The Core, Head of State, A Man Apartment, Phone Booth (4/14/03)
March 31, 2003
Ass! Ass! National Tango!, Bringing Down the House, Dreamcatcher, The Hunted, Piglet's Big Movement, Tears of the Sun, Willard (3/31/03)
2003 Oscars Special!
Oscar fever is upon us, ladies and gentlemen, and fear not: that puss-like discharge is a completely normal symptom. Hollywood is throwing all of its bulimia-managed weight around in an effort to whip us all into an Oscar frenzy, until we're running... (3/17/03)
March 3, 2003
Humpty Dumpty, America, and welcome to the silent majority's favorite movie review feature. It's Entertainment Police, brought to you by Mike's Hard Turpentine™. It's that time of year when we can start to feel Oscar Fever crawl up the back... (3/3/03)
March 3, 2003
Dark Blue, Old School, Spider, Studyhall Junkies, The Time-Life Christmas of David Gale (3/3/03)
February 17, 2003
Cherdevil, How to Lose a Gut in 10 Days, The Jungle Book 2 (2/17/03)
February 3, 2003
Final Destination 2, The Recut, Shanghai Knights (2/3/03)
January 20, 2003
Darkness Falls, A Guy Thing, Kangaroo Jack, The Hours, National Security (1/20/03)
January 6, 2003
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Just Married Ashton Kutcher, Love Liza, The Pianist (1/6/03)
December 23, 2002
25th Hour, Catch Me if You Can, Gays of New York, Lords of the Ring: The Out-of-Towners, Max (12/23/02)
December 9, 2002
About Shit, Cannibalize That, The Hot Chick, Maid in Manhattan, Star Trek: Eminemisis (12/9/02)
November 25, 2002
Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nuts, Diet Another Day, Extreme P.O.S., The Friday After Next Friday, Wes Craven Presents: They... (11/25/02)
November 11, 2002
8 Miles of M&Ms, The Santa Clause 2, Punch-Drunk Love, I Spy, Femme Fatale (11/11/02)
October 28, 2002
Auto Focus, Formula 51, Ghost Ship, Jackass: The Movie, The Truth About Charlie, Waking Up in Reno With Billy Bob Thornton (10/28/02)
October 14, 2002
Abandon Katie Holmes, Brown Sugar, My Big Fat Geek Website, The Trainspotter, White Oldtimer (10/14/02)
September 30, 2002
Moonlight Miles, Red Dragon, Sweet Homo Alabama, The Tuxedo (9/30/02)
September 16, 2002
Ask Roland, The Bang Your Sisters, Barbieshop, Igby Goes Down, Trapped (9/16/02)
September 2, 2002
Ask Roland, City by the Sea, fear dot com, Swimfan (9/2/02)
August 19, 2002
Adventures of Pluto Nash, One Hour Photo, Serving Sara, Simone, Undisputed (8/19/02)
August 5, 2002
Blood Work, Full Frontal, Love and a Ballet, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio of Disguise, Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Diaries, XXX (8/5/02)
July 22, 2002
Blue Crush, The Country Bears, Eight Legged Freaks, Halloween: Resuscitation, Signs (7/22/02)
Summer Movie Preview Part Two
Austin Powers in Goldmember, The Crocodile Hunter: The Main Course, K-19: The Widowmaker, Like Mike, Men in Black Tubes, Milo & Stitch, Minority Depot, The Powerpuff Girls, Rain of Fire, Road to Perdition, Stuart Little 2 (6/24/02)
Summer Movie Preview Part One
Bad Company, The Bourne Dentist, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, Enough, Harvard Man, The Importance of Being Ernest, Insomnia, Scooby, Don't!, Spirit: Stallion of the Cinnamon, The Sumbitch on All Fours, Undercover Brother, Windtalkers (5/27/02)
April 29, 2002
Murder by Numbnuts, National Lampoon's Gene Wilder, The Scorpion King, Star Wars 2: Attack of the Blondes, Band-its, Life is in tha House, The Man Who Wasn't There, Original Sink, The Has-Beens, Ali McBeal, FIFA World Cup Soccer, Chessmaster 5500 (4/29/02)
April 1, 2002
All About the Berenstains, Ice Age, Mentident Evil, Picnic Room, Pig Trouble, Joy Ride, K-PAX, Sexy Bees (4/1/02)
2002 Oscars Special Edition
Holy washed-up franchise, Batman! It's Oscar season and no lisping game bird is going to convince Roland McShyster otherwise. Pay no heed to the lies about Christmastime, the most magical time of the year is truly upon us. So let's get coked up to... (3/4/02)
February 18, 2002
Crossroads, Big Fat Liar, Dragonfly, Peter Pan 2: Return to Nevermind, Queen of the Damned, 13 Ghosts, Bones, J.Lo and Silent Bob Strike Back, Winter Olympics, Simpson's Road Rage, Jonny Moseley: Bad Trix, Drakin' II (2/18/02)
February 4, 2002
A Beautiful Mime, Big Fat Liar, Collateral Damage, I Am Sam, Rollerball, Captain Correlli's Man-dolphin, The Curse of the Sade Scorpion, Ghost World, Kiss of the Drag Queen (2/4/02)
January 21, 2002
Black Hawk Down, The Count in Monty's Crisco, Orange County, Snow Dogs, The Fat and the Furious, Glass House, Rush: Hour 2, Two Can Play that Game, What's the Worst That Could Happen, Imagine That, The Chamber, Worst Monday, Sponging Bob, Final Fantasy X, Eternal Darkness (1/21/02)
Ask Roland Hollywood Legends Special Edition
The time has come for the first ever "Ask Roland Special Edition," and if that doesn't put exciting lumps in your oatmeal, I don't know what will. (1/7/02)
December 24, 2001
ALI, Jimmy Nimrod Boy Genius, The Lords of the Ring: The Fellowship in the Ring, Mule in Rouge, The Center of the World, Scary Movie 2, The Amazing Racist, The Tick, The Garbageman, Forever Kingdom, Blood Wake, NBA Inside Driver 2002 (12/24/01)
December 10, 2001
Not Another Ween Movie, Ocean's 11, The Royal Tennis Bums, Vanilla Sky, Karen Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars, Maid, Pearl Harbor, Woolf Lake, The Agency, Maybe it's Me, The Sims Hot Date, Metallica Solitude, Alone in the Dark 4 (12/10/01)
November 26, 2001
How's it hangin', America? Welcome back for another ass-blast of entertainment value as we take a gander at the batch of goodies Hollywood is cramming down our throats this week. I'd tell you how I've been lately, but since it starts out exactly... (11/26/01)
November 12, 2001
omestic Disturbance, Mobsters Inc, Shallow Hal, The Animal, Baby Boyscouts, The Golden Bowl, Alias, Crossing Jordan, The Big Mac Show, Kabuki Warriors, SEX Tricky, Tony Hawk's Prosecutor Tux, NFL Prime Time 2002 (11/12/01)
October 29, 2001
From Hell, Iron Monkey, Mulholland Drive, Riding in Cars with Boys, About Adam, Along Came a Spider, Freddie Got Fingered, With a Friend Like Harry, Scrubs, Philly, Accordion Jim, Tony Hawk Prosecutor 2, Devil May Cry, Final Fantasy Tac Tics (10/29/01)
October 15, 2001
Don't Say a Word, Jeepers Creepers, Meggido: The Omega Code II, The Princess Diaries, Training Day, Exit Wounds, Heartbreakers, One Night at McDonalds, Twenty-Four, Smallville, Inside Schwartz, Silent Hill 2, ICO, Crazy Taxi 2 (10/15/01)
October 1, 2001
Hardballs, Heart's in Atlantis, The Others, Planet of the Grape Apes, Amorous Parrots, Blow, Enemy at the Gates', Memento the Mexican, The Tailor of Panama (10/1/01)
2001 Oscars Special
What's the haps, America? Well, you can forget about all of that crap because it's Oscar time! It's that magical time of year when the Academy tells us what's the best of the best, and we cry "Bullshit! What about Blue Streak?". I'm here, as always,... (7/1/01)
January 1, 2001
The Legend of Bagger Vance, Requiem for a Dreamcast, The Watcher, Committed, Drowning Boner, Reindeer Games, Snow Day, Terms of Engagement (1/1/01)
May 1, 2000
American Psycho, Emperor and the Assassin, Ghost Dog, High Fidelity, Mission to Mars, Romero Must Die, The Whole Nine Yards, American Beauty, Anna and the King, Girl Interrupted (5/1/00)
January 1, 2000
Being John Malkovich, Bicentennial Man, Man on the Moon, My Dog Skips, Sweet and Lowdown, The Talented Mr Ripley, American Pie, The Iron Giant, The Red Violin, T with Mussolini, Wild Wild West, (1/1/00)
June 1, 1999
The Phantom Menace, The Mummy, Message in a Bottle, Deep End of the Ocean, Never Been Kissed, 10 Things I Hate About You, Fanmail, Come On Over, No Limit Top Dogg, Meet Joe Black, Gloria The Waterboy (6/1/99)
Oscars 1999
It's Oscar time, America! And you know what that means: It's time to assert our inborn artistic superiority over every other country on the globe! The Oscars are like the Olympics of Entertainment, where we dominate in every event. Just like the... (5/1/99)
April 1, 1999
Hello and welcome to another year in Entertainment and Entertainment-related things! It looks to be another wacky year from the get-go, what with the Senet Trial of comedian George Clinton (who would have guessed, an ancient Egyptian board game used... (4/1/99)
December 1, 1998
Very Bad Things, Rugrats, Enemy of the State, SpiceWorld, The Parent Trap, Legend of Zelda: Orinthal of Time (12/1/98)
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Milestones1992: Ramon Nootles is married in Las Vegas. It is not the last wedding for Nootles, nor his last in Las Vegas, nor his last making heavy use of alcohol and strippers.Now HiringHooker. Must pretend to be girlfriend while bosses are visiting. Live with handsome bachelor, no sex involved, go on crazy shopping expeditions with high potential for comedy. Should be capable of winning people over with down-to-earth personality. If successful, will go on to become full-time beard for obviously gay attractive man. Top 5 commune Features This Week| 1. | Heavy Petting: When Fat People Make Out | | 2. | Review: Give 'Em Hell, Harry Houdini | | 3. | Uncle Macho's Pure Stallion Dog Food | | 4. | Six College Courses for Retards and Sorority Girls | | 5. | Critics' Corner: Whatever Brad Pitt's in Sucks | |
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