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08/2/25   
Don't count us out. Or count on us. Please, just stop with the counting.

New York

bio/email
March 18, 2002
"The first time I visited New York City it was 1946. The year, I mean. It was hot on the heels of World War II and I was a young man seeking a college internship or a job as a roadie for Glenn Miller.

The city was huge, at least for back then. It was the largest city in the world, bustling and loud, known as 'the city that never sleeps.' In actuality, the city itself is neither asleep nor awake, I think in general they were referring to the population. Although they do sleep, but there's so many people that some sleep in the daytime while others sleep at night, so somebody's always awake. But I'm probably over-explaining.

I saw all the sights while I was there—the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Coney Island, the art district (or as we called it then, the gay part of town). I was awe-struck by all the great things man could build when we weren't trying to kill people and destroy other countries.

I went to Times Square, and stood there surrounded by people from all over the world. It seemed to me proof positive that people could live beside each other, walk amongst each other, with their own beliefs, religions, even languages, and still get along. I started to think maybe all the troubles in the world comes not from different people living so close together, but from those people living so far apart.

Of course, it's only fair to say I also thought it a good idea to wipe out the Germans and Japanese both. Like I said, it was 1946, you have to excuse the feelings of the time. I did get over all that and come to appreciate both cultures. I think that was around 1986."


Milestones
2000: Ramrod Hurley is hired as a commune correspondent after the failure of his startup internet company, www.poopoftheday.com.
Now Hiring
Extras. Positions available for extras in Boogie Nights 2. Minimum wage, lunch provided as well as SAG credit. Full frontal nudity required, well-endowed equipment or prosthetics a plus.
Top Puns that Got You Shot
1."But waiter, you can't tune a sandwich!"
2."If you want to get married some time, give me a ring."
3."Arr, you think me cooking be impressive, you should see me pea soup!"
4."Come back, man, that's nacho cheese!"
5."I play bass for Big Dick and the Trojans, we're a rubber band."
Archives
Fishing
"Old men have their fishing stories, and Sampson L. Hartwig is no exception. The best fishing story is when I was nigh 25, I went fishing with my college buddy Meadows. Meadows was an expert fisherman, raised in a fisherman family. His father was... (3/4/02)

History
"My college years were plentiful with fun and new experiences. When I recall people from that time I always think of my European History professor, Mr. Carmel. 'Hartwig,' he once told me—he always called me Hartwig—'Hartwig, history is... (2/18/02)

Flood
"One year a flood hit our town, and it was among the most horrible things that ever happened. Over 20 people were killed, and I liked three of them. It made me very sad. For a week we had to camp out on the top of our house since the floodwater... (2/4/02)

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