01/27/26
“Pretty good”
|  My New Lifestyleby Wes Thurmon   August 5, 2002 Monday, August 5, 2002
If I could ever be as free as a tree, I'd pee only Brie. My neighbors would see the beauty of me. I'd sing like a duck and have all the good luck. I'd dance for a buck and sleep in a truck I bought for a buck and I'd laugh "Nyuk nyuk nyuk." What a beautiful day! I almost wish I was gay and I lived in L.A. What more can I say? What a wonderful life that would be… Eating green spinach pie, reading about Princess Di. Pausing briefly to sigh "These sad books make me cry!" But this dark purple tie is so stylish, I could die! But I won't 'cause it's great to be me… Yes this is the life I've waited for all my life. No more fat, naggy wife! No more mis'ry or strife! New gay lifestyle I love thee… People will talk of my beautiful cock that I keep in a sock under key under lock cause he's hard as a rock and he's covered in chalk and he can take a knock. He's a tough little chicken you see… My identity? Clarified! My new lifestyle? Verified! Wait, naked men? Terrified! Terrified! Terrified! New gay lifestyle I'll miss thee… Quote of the Day“I have not yet begun to finish my senten…”-John Paul Jones Fortune 500 CookieEverything’s looking up this week, to avoid making eye contact with you. At long last it has become clear that your master’s degree in goat teasing was a total waste of time. Everyone knows sneezing into your sleeve is just good manners, you should try the same when you break wind. On the bright side, we showed a picture of you to a time-traveler who stopped by the office last week, and he said "Oh Jesus, that guy?" so apparently you’re well-known in the future. This week’s lucky gadgets: HP iPlaid (launching next week on clearance), Samsung MySlate laptop-sized smartphone, iRobot Chippy: Autonomous Quadrotor Personal Killdrone, Sonicareless dental apathy kit, Windows 7 Phone in Bluescreen Blue.Try again later. Least Popular |
| 1. | Fat kid re-enacting his favorite scenes from Citizen Kane |
| 2. | World of Warcraft online players expressing crippling loneliness they feel |
| 3. | Totally hot chick in skirt does routine car maintenance |
| 4. | Trailer for Julia Roberts' Mary Reilly 2 |
| 5. | Manson gets one side of Rubik's Cube all red |
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A little dog choked on a draidel, a ladle, a can of beef stew and a wicker kazoo. His owner, a loner from Kalamazoo, in a wrath drew a bath that he filled up with glue. The soup of white goop he stirred with an oar and what's more he added the... (7/8/02)
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Your Honor
A little dog choked on a draidel, a ladle, a can of beef stew and a wicker kazoo. His owner, a loner from Kalamazoo, in a wrath drew a bath that he filled up with glue. The soup of white goop he stirred with an oar and what's more he added the... (7/8/02)
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Life on earth did not much agree with Rufus McGee and Magilicutty Sneed. Two young boys, American as can be: American as trees, or Apples Dupree. On summer days they dreamed, on winter nights they schemed, lying there on their ... (6/24/02)
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.