You need a newer browser.

04/28/26   
All we are is ducks in the wind

Claw

by Bartimere Gong
bio/email
October 14, 2002
A quick
short walk
to the beach
you wear
your blue bikini
blue like
my heart
blue like
my teardrops
and almost I
can see the nipples
your boobs, not
my heart or teardrops

We walk,
hand in hand
and one more hand
like the hand of love
a third-wheel who
won't take a hint
we sit
in sand
sand in my shorts
ass crack!
You complain
it's cold
why must you
ruin everything?

Shit! Now
a crab
in my shorts
scrotal flesh
clamped in shellfish claws
selfish claws
like something
I saw on
The Flintstones
My pain is red
red like the crab
pinching my balls
Motherfucker
Quit laughing,
Shelly, you
stupid bitch

Oh, now
You're leaving?
Fine
Go
I would rather
date your sister
anyway.

Fuck these
claws of love
hurt like a
motherfucker
and the crab
that is too real
crab bastard


Milestones
1750: Antonio Salieri, second-rate composer and eternal inspiration to the commune. His alleged murder of Mozart, as portrayed in Amadeus, forever encourages us in our war with Crochet! magazine.
Now Hiring
Stepchild. Just sit around and eat and drink me out of house and home without ever raising a finger. Hey, I'm talking to you, you little shit. There ain't no law says I got to be nice to you just 'cause I'm knocking boots with your mom.
Top 5 commune Features This Week
1.Interview: Lindsay Lohan's Clitoris
2.Seven Bitches for Seven Pimps
3.Uncle Macho's Out-of-Season Spiced Egg-Nog
4.Fear and Loathing in Los Lobos
5.Critics' Corner: Music Reviews to Shame You
Archives
Invent It!
I will invent it! A mendable, bendable tube that will heal any wound and smell like the moon for only half a dubloon! A meteor catching net that plays DVDs and warms up your knees and always asks please when you forget to because you... (9/30/02)

Mrs. The Pope
I'll elope with the Pope on a Sunday in Spain, and I hope that the dope won't pick a day when it rains. For though the walrus and crow might find it refreshing, the sugar-drop people would melt right through the chairs' meshing. And the... (9/16/02)

God Only Nose
A nose is a nose is a nose. Wouldn't one by any other name smell just as well? What the hell. Call it a hogglebottom and it still smells the sweets. Call it a snot locker, still a nose-shaped hunk o' meat stapled to your face right where... (9/2/02)

more