The Spell of My Love

by Richard Stooter

November 11, 2002

T is for the time we spend,
each day like a minute going too fast;

H is for the heart I give,
for the love inside I have gladly amassed;

O is for the order,
my life is my own with you in it;

N is for the nurturing,
because you my growth knows no limits;

G is for the giving,
I'll give until all there is is gone;

Together it spells thong,
won't you at least try it on?

I swear I just want to see you wear it once. You put it on, you never know, you might even like it. I don't see why you won't even try it on. It doesn't mean you're a skank or nothing. Just to spice things up, come on, I'm begging you. I just want to see how it looks and maybe take a few pictures.

Quote of the Day

“Yes, madam, I may be drunk, but you are ugly and in the morning I shall still be drunk! Wait a minuteâ€¦ Okay, I've got a match for you: your butt and my face. TouchÃ©.”

-Quentin Hillchurch

Fortune 500 Cookie

Happiness is indeed a warm gun, but you're not supposed to warm it in your ass like that. If your life is lacking direction this week, we've got one word for you: North. As you have long suspected, recreational drugs are the answer. This week's lucky charms: taupe meatballs, turquoise speculums, puce gallstones, gold bullets.

Try again later.

Top Scientific Discoveries, Week of 5/21/07

1.	People hoarding "Forever" stamps deficient in inflation-understanding genes
2.	Long middle fingers connected to aggressive tendencies in men
3.	Fish oil aids in weight loss by grossing you all the fuck out
4.	Most effective beauty tip for women: Get men drunk
5.	Gay animals choose homosexual lifestyle

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Claw
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