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06/17/25   
“Pretty good”


Rusty Klein

In an outrageous effort to quell worries about drug involvement in the recent accidental bombing of a Canadian infantry unit by two American fighter pilots on amphetamines, the U.S. military has presented experts claiming the intake of amphetamines actually aids the performance of soldiers under stress. Is this the ultimate message about drugs we're sending to our children? — Professor Jeremy Klein










Milestones
2001: Red Bagel foolishly promises paid vacations next year, only to be later surprised the commune still in business at that time.
Now Hiring
Roadie. Duties include setting up mics, antagonizing audience hours before band comes on, picking up busty ladies of legal age for private band business. No pay, work for throwaway ladies.
Best Selling Albums
1.Come On
Britney Spears
2.I Keep Returning Like Freddy Krueger
Madonna
3.Passable Generic Metal
Creed
4.Farting to Critical Raves
Radiohead
5.Fossils
Aerosmith
Archives
The Budget Surplus
Once again George Bush has proven that Democrats excel at domestic issues while the Republicans falter. Blowing the budget surplus on a minor tax break made him popular for a little while, but we've wasted our budget surplus before hitting on hard... (1/6/03)

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