the commune

Rusty Klein

President Sharon's brutal military strikes on Palestine just days before the Israeli elections has all the stink of political posturing and pandering to the base emotions of the lowest common denominator. But can such a lack of political integrity draw any support from the world outside Israel? â€” Professor Jeremy Klein

Quote of the Day

“Love, love will tear us apart again. So quit telling those jocks we both like it in the butt.”

-Joy Divinski

Fortune 500 Cookie

You will spend so much time with your foot in your mouth this week, people will mistake it for performance art. Beat the living shit out of the first person who calls you "buddy" todayâ€”best to nip that shit in the bud. Your only remaining shot at true happiness now is joining a cult or getting hooked on heroin: your call. This week's lucky midgets: "Stretch" Svorsded, Suitcase Mike, Jimmy "Dogslapper" McVaughn, Upskirt Kilgore, Ross "The Toss" Ramstein.

Try again later.

Top 5 Concessions to Iran for Freeing British Prisoners

1.	Give Iranian cricket team real shot at the World Cup
2.	Current prisoners traded for Ian MacKellen, who can hopefully deliver more convincing confession
3.	Just one more season of Ricky Gervais' The Office
4.	Three words: Spandau Ballet Reunion
5.	Stab at pissing off the second-largest military force in the West before taking on the biggest not as successful as expected

Anti-Drug Education
In an outrageous effort to quell worries about drug involvement in the recent accidental bombing of a Canadian infantry unit by two American fighter pilots on amphetamines, the U.S. military has presented experts claiming the intake of amphetamines... (1/20/03)

The Budget Surplus
Once again George Bush has proven that Democrats excel at domestic issues while the Republicans falter. Blowing the budget surplus on a minor tax break made him popular for a little while, but we've wasted our budget surplus before hitting on hard... (1/6/03)