the commune

A.D. Enemy

Polls show that an unnamed Democratic candidate could beat Bush if the election were held todayâ€¦. but polls say none of the nine Democratic candidates can win against Bush. It can't possibly be that Americans don't know what they want and only what they don't want, so then what's the solution? Of course, run one of our leading unnamed Democratic candidates! â€” A.D. Enemy

Milestones

1987: A practical joke backfires, resulting in Roland McShyster being put in charge of Orion Pictures.

Now Hiring

Neighbor. Must be unpredictably silly and capable of conjuring up outlandish schemes week after week. Applicant will be judged based on appeal to uncreative mass audiences and spin-off potential. Non-white, homosexual a plus.

Best Unreported News

1.	President Bush Built from Japanese Parts
2.	Dale Earnhardt Fans Waiting Like Fanatics for His Return
3.	Lawrenceville, KS Shoney's Buffet Huge Fucking Rip-Off
4.	RuPaul All Man Underneath Dress
5.	Country of Chad Non-Existent, Just Some Joke by Guy Named Chad

The Best Politicians Money Can Buy
Comparing the California Governor recall race to a circus seems a little unfair. Circuses occasionally have a little dignity. â€” A.D.... (8/18/03)

My Big Fat Illegal Gay Wedding
It's a shame homosexual lobbies are using celebrity power like Richard Chamberlin and Melissa Etheridge to promote their ridiculous agenda of gay marriage, while opponents have to make due with meager politicians and wealthy religious figures. â€”... (8/4/03)