The Insomnia of Ransom Rippleby Ulysses P. Crackbutter ![]() September 29, 2003 Ransom Ripple's twisted nipples
kept him from his sleep. The night was long, as Ransom's thong straight up his ass would creep. An incessant dripping at his ears was nipping, as it echoed from the sink. "This noisy room will be my doom!" was all that he could think. The words to a song, like a clanging gong, rang and jiggled his brain. "This tune will be the death of me!" he was heard to complain. He counted sheep, then counted Jeep, then counted jellybeans. But then he remembered once being dismembered… "I wonder what that means?" Ransom Ripple's toe was crippled and he had to pee. His nose did whistle like an incoming missile, And he thought "God please kill me!" But just when he'd conceded that he'd get no sleep that he needed, and resigned himself to silently weep… the strangest thing happened. He dropped off into a nap and dreamt that he couldn't fall asleep. Quote of the Day“Na-na-na-na-ne-neh-neh-na-neh-neh-neh-neh-va-va-va-va-va-neh-na-neh-neh-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-neh-va-neh-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma—nevermind.”-Stutterin' Tom Tulane Fortune 500 CookieEight is enough: time to face the fact that you're wearing too many cock rings. Try watching where you vomit this week: it never hurts to make a nice first impression. It says here that once word gets out you ate all those locusts, you'll be beloved in Kansas, and unwelcome everywhere else. This week's lucky germs: floor-funk, spazzolycene3, urinalia-hangaroundicus, wheat, Pat Smear.Try again later. Least Popular |
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