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02/10/26   
Show us where the bad man touched you

Deuce

by Melora Gray
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October 27, 2003
slapped so hard his beak was loose.
But Bruce and Luce they called truce,
and drank a can of blue moose juice.
The goose he drank it through a sluice.

Norman Snoran, small recluse,
lives deep inside a red caboose.
He's solitary, one could deduce,
because his swearing is profuse.
Though some think that just an excuse.

Sorta Spellman, allow me to introduce,
a girl for which I have no use.
Some think her sullen, some obtuse.
I can forgive the way she wears a noose,
but not the day she betrayed me for produce!
Zeus is taller than a spruce,
an attribute he puts to misuse.
Storks and stiltwalkers, he does seduce,
until to tears they do reduce,
when they find his love diffuse.

Allow me to induce
a sentiment as dark as mousse,
for characters prone to abuse.
The reasoning may be abstruse,
but just to ponder: What the deuce?


Quote of the Day
the commune is back? All right! Wait, what the fuck is the commune? What? Now I’m going to kick your ass for getting me excited for nothing.”

-Ron Tangley
Fortune 500 Cookie
This is the week everything changes for you. Yep, even those underwear. Go get a spatula. We all agree that your breasts are attractive, but usually a guy needs a follow-up act to really reel in the ladies. Try learning to play the lute this week, just carrying it around isn’t impressing anyone. This week’s lucky fuckers: Fucker G. Robinson (the world’s second-richest and seventh-most-unfortunately-named man), mother, Megan Fox’s boyfriend, and whoever’s sleeping with that hot girl on the Morton’s Salt container (oh get over it, she’s totally grown up by now).

Try again later.
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