Chase the Weasel

by Chase Spergen

November 10, 2003

All around the Crunchberry bowl
the monkey chased the weasel.
The monkey thought it was
fuckin' funny
until "POP!" goes the weasel!
The fucking weasel exploded,
I'm not kidding.
It was fuckin' raunchy.

Up and down the hallway stairs
the monkey chased the weasel.
The monkey liked to give 'im a scare
then "POP!" went the weasel.

Goddammit monkey!
Quit chasing those weasels!
There's no way we're getting the security deposit back now.
Christ on a bike!

Back and forth in front of the T.V.
the monkey chased the weasel.
And just before the start of the O.C.
"POP!" goes the weasel!

I AM NOT FUCKING KIDDING AROUND, MONKEY!
It's like Vietnam in here!
You think I'm going to be able to convince girls
that "Weasel Gore" was a wallpapering option?
You're on thin, thin fucking ice, monkey.

Through the day and all through the night
the monkey chased the weasel.
The weasel he did put up a good fight
but still, "POP!" went the weasel.

All around the goddamned house
Chase, he chased the monkey.
He'd teach that ape to mess up his padâ€¦
then "POP!" goes the weasel!

FUCK!

That's it, I give up! Do what you want monkey.

Hey, don't give me that sad face.
Okay, okay, you're still my buddy.
Come to think of it, we do seem to have
a pretty bad weasel infestation in this place.

Probably a good thing I've got a monkey, actually.

Quote of the Day

“I have a dreamâ€¦ uhâ€¦ nope, drawing a blank. It was clear as a fuckin' bell this morning, I swear to God. There was something about dolphins, that's all I can remember right now.”

-"King" Luther Martens

Fortune 500 Cookie

Don't be so hard on yourself, we all know mama told you not to come, but it ain't so easy when the bitch got titties til' Tuesday. Also, don't give up your dream of eating a tree like it was an ice cream sandwich, we've been charging admission. This week's lucky cancers: fingernail cancer, breath cancer, split ends cancer, silicone implant cancer.

Try again later.

Least-Watched Holiday Specials

1.	A Bush Family Christmas
2.	I'm Dreaming of a White Krishna
3.	VH1 Behind the Music: That Guy Who Sang Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
4.	Christopher Walken in a Winter Wonderland
5.	Gerald Ford Reads "Twas the Night Beforeâ€¦" Oh Shit

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