Your Sister?

by Marcus McFadden

February 23, 2004

Your sister?
I kissed her,
because I thought she was you!
â€¦and you had the flu
that made you gain a pound or two.
Or twenty.
Seriously,
deliriously I did mack on her lips,
but I thought I was eating chips
all smothered in dips!

I was all crazy
and my vision was hazy
because I missed you!
And I thought I kissed you
but I guess I fucked your sister instead.

Did I say "fucked"?
What's wrong with my head?
Just kissed,
don't get so pissed!
She wasn't even that goodâ€¦
How'd I know she would
rip off my clothes
while I was watching my shows?

No I'm not insulting your sister!
I only kissed her,
I wouldn't know if she's awesome in the sack
with her nails down your back
and all that.
I don't know where I heard about that.
I made it up, I slipped on the bath mat
and cracked my skull on the tub
so she gave it a rub.

Hey the girl was confused,
I could have banged my cock on the tub!
Don't act so bruised!
But anyway that's it,
I banged my head and now all this crazy shit
keeps coming out my mouth.
Ignore it,
don't store it for later use
when some dude says your sister is loose.

It ain't an excuse,
so put down that noose!
This ain't no dance and song,
and you should be happy
your sister and I get along!

Damn. You think about it,
I could have rightly have slapped her
for ripping my nice shorts.

I mean I love you.

Quote of the Day

“the commune is back? All right! Wait, what the fuck is the commune? What? Now Iâ€™m going to kick your ass for getting me excited for nothing.”

-Ron Tangley

Fortune 500 Cookie

This is the week everything changes for you. Yep, even those underwear. Go get a spatula. We all agree that your breasts are attractive, but usually a guy needs a follow-up act to really reel in the ladies. Try learning to play the lute this week, just carrying it around isnâ€™t impressing anyone. This weekâ€™s lucky fuckers: Fucker G. Robinson (the worldâ€™s second-richest and seventh-most-unfortunately-named man), mother, Megan Foxâ€™s boyfriend, and whoeverâ€™s sleeping with that hot girl on the Mortonâ€™s Salt container (oh get over it, sheâ€™s totally grown up by now).

Try again later.

Top More Things to Do With a Severed Finger

1.	Donate it to shop teachers in need
2.	Really get your waiter's attention
3.	Confuse the hell out of C.S.I.
4.	Pick your friends and your nose
5.	Dip it in gold; make yourself an "I'm # 1" award

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