Hungry Like a Wolf

by Laurence Trundle Lawrence

April 5, 2004

I'm hungry like a wolf
that just ate a whole
big-ass bag of Purina
but then he saw something
really funny and was
laughing so hard
he barfed it all up.

Dark in the city, night is a wire,
steam in the subway, earth is a fire.
Holy shit, how can I think about eating at a time like this?
But it doesn't matter, you can't
teach a wolf not to be so goddamned selfish.

A wolf is like a box of chocolates
all full of cherries and nougat
and crazy shit you don't know how it got in there.
A wolf can eat anything,
like a tin can or a soccer ball.
They're like goats except
they can eat goats too.
Goats can't eat other goats
because they're the same size
so they'd explode.
But a wolf will eat your whole box of ding dongs
and look at you like "What?"
right before he pisses all over your stereo.

In touch with the ground,
I'm on the hunt I'm after you.
If you're a tuna sandwich
or something I like, that is.
It's not like I'm gonna eat a
big greasy brick of braunschweiger
or something gross just because I'm hungry.
So I guess in that way I'm not quite
"Hungry like a wolf"
but I'd argue that I'm pretty close.
Maybe like a wolf that's pretty picky,
but that doesn't roll off the tongue
quite so smooth.

Quote of the Day

“It is a wise man who makes a career of providing quotes, for the dollar-to-word ratio is fantastic. Eat your heart out, novelists.”

-Beenjammin Lynn-Frank

Fortune 500 Cookie

You! In the yellow shirt! Youâ€™re going to have an awful week. Move along now. This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, but your lifetime ban from the municipal aquarium still applies. Those repressed childhood memories youâ€™ve been having about animal abuse and a shady-looking construction site? That was Donkey Kong. Try eating something with at least 17 letters in it this week: mailboxes and Alpha-Bits donâ€™t count. Your lucky dong accessories: ornaments, jingle bells, argyle cock sock, festive wreath, racing stripe, spare donut.

Try again later.

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