I Think This New Stacked Show's Gonna Be a Giant Tit!

June 13, 2005

America's favorite love-it-all reviewer from Spineless Magazine is branching out and trying his hand at the best new blog of the year! How's it going to turn out? Awesome-tastic!

1:21am - To Be Continued
:Gotta go, I'm late for something!

10:51pm - StillStacked
But the show's not just about boobs, no way! It's also got bouncy dialogue and cleaves right to the heart of important societal issues every week. There's also a funny old guy who's ugly and old enough to really let Pam's beauty shine through in contrast. She's a 10, no doubt, but he makes her look like a 10.7 at least. There are also some other pleasantly nondescript characters there to say all the lines that aren't Pam's. Which is good, because if it were just Pam talking all the time, then the show would be a one-woman monologue and those are never fun. She'd probably start talking about her vagina and ruin all the good times! Don't go there girl!

6:08pm - I Like Peanuts
:Am I the only one who thinks CBS Nightly News has totally jumped the shark? Sorry guys, but I'm going to have to jump on the bandwagon that thinks you guys did your best work back when nobody knew who you were. Now it's all about the money, and the women. Nice hair, though!

5:31pm - In the News
:Has anyone tried these Lunchables? I've got a hunch(ables) they're pretty great!

5:06pm - MoreStacked
The studio execs were proven right once again, because Pam Anderson's got the giant big knockers of talent that the world has been dying to see!

3:59pm - Deepness
:What has everybody been hearing about this heaven place? Sounds pretty nice, ay? Or is that just me?

1:38pm - Still Hungry
:Let me be the first to say, deodorant is the way to go. Sure beats the alternative.

11:40am - StackedAttack
:You can say ta-ta to the small time, Pam, because I'm predicting your star's gonna bust right out of that tiny, constrictive bra of anonymity, baby. Anyone with a pair of eyes can see, Stacked is a giant tit and I see some golden globes in Pam Anderson's future! I know Golden Globes are awards for movies, I wasn't talking about that. I see big things coming out of the shirt of your career, girl.

9:16am - Meatloaf
:If there's one thing I can wholeheartedly recommend to every man, woman and child on the face of the earth, regardless of age, and without even knowing them, it's the BowFlex. Talk about your muscle factory! Those guys in the commercial are ripped!

Quote of the Day

“Any man who serves as his own lawyer has a fool for a client. Because think about it, stupid, why you gonna pay some guy who didn't even go to law school? That's just dumb. And how do you pay yourself, anyway? Take your money out of one pocket and put it in the other? Silly. Or maybe you've got to hire a neutral third party to take the money and then hand it back to you, like a lawyer or somebody. Shit, this is gettin' expensive.”

-Dred Scott Drummond

Fortune 500 Cookie

You're simply the best, and that depresses us all. The next time you're on trial for murder, don't forget to mention that a Klondike bar was involved. And if you must ask for a lawyer who can get you off, at least try not to do it with that smarmy leer in your eye. Try chewing your food an odd number of times this week, like 6,372. This week's lucky injuries: hangnail, hangankle, ruptured spleen, stabitosis.

Try again later.

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