Meat in the Ground

by Violet Tiara

April 10, 2006

Toasters are boasters
and otters are modest
but the lotto
you bought
was for the wrong
archipelago.

Mangy changers
are deranged,
sez strange
Jessica Lange.

Druids love fluids
but who is
the wiser
the Kaiser?
On rye, sir,
that miser
misspelt Pfizer.

Fuck 'em.

Loosely
my tooth sings
of ribald
rococo.
Yoko
went loco
and toked all
my Midal
in a long bong
from Hong Kong
with tongs
from Longs
and songs
about John's
stained brainbeans
and Charlie Sheen's
love of Ween.

Cancer
is fancier
if called
carcinoma
Oklahoma
has roma
tomatoes
in pails
and bails
without fail
their sails
white sheets
in seas of wheat
and meat
in the ground
where peat
should be found
and backsweat
from the accident
rolled up in
rolling papers
that taper
to a point
of tip.

Quote of the Day

“Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel. The second to last refuge of the scoundrel is a cave in the Ozarks. Third to last? Under the bed in a four-star hotel in Paris. Fourth? Puns. Puns are the fourth-to-last refuge of the scoundrel.”

-Johnuel Samson

Fortune 500 Cookie

Whoever cut your jib, they fucked it all up, dude. Try wearing more spandex this week, your current quantities aren't providing sufficient coverage. Remember: an ounce of prevention is worth an inch of milk-fed veal. This week's lucky pizza restaurant mascots: The Noidette, Little Greaser, Humpy the Pizza Camel, "Cheese Dick" Richard Romano, Lumpy-Thighed Sex Goddess Valotta Ricotta.

Try again later.

Top Recent Mother Mary Appearances

1.	Wad of wet toilet paper, Gas station restroom floor, Houston TX
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3.	Fur pattern on Dalmatian's ass, Kingley OK
4.	Burrito Del Maria, Taco Bell Extra Value Menu
5.	Mary, Mary, ABC Thursdays

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