You need a newer browser.

08/2/25   
Big brother's little brother

The Joker

bio/email
May 15, 2001
Some people call me… the "space cowboy." Some call me the "gangster of love." Some people call me "Maurice"—wahnt wah—because I speak of the pompatus of love.

People talk about me, baby—say I'm doing you wrong. "Doing you wrong"! Well, don't you worry, baby, don't worry. 'Cause I'm right here; right here, right here at home.

'Cause I'm a picker. I'm a grinner. I'm a lover—and I'm a sinner. I play my music in the sun. I'm a joker, I'm a smoker; I'm a midnight-toker. I get my lovin' on the run.

You're the cutest thing I ever did see.

I really love your peaches; wanna shake your tree.

Lovey-dovey. Lovey-dovey. Lovey-dovey all the time. Ooo-wee, baby, I sure show you a good time.

'Cause I'm a picker. I'm a grinner. I'm a lover—and I'm a sinner. I play my music in the sun. I'm a joker, I'm a smoker; I'm a midnight-toker. I sure don't want to hurt no one.

People keep talking about me baby: Say I'm doing you wrong. But don't you worry, don't worry, no don't worry, momma. 'Cause I'm right here at home.

Editor's Note: As you may have guessed, Rok Finger had an embarrassing incident with a stage magician over the weekend and has assumed the new identity of Steve Miller of the Steve Miller Band; hopefully temporarily. With luck, Rok's regular identity and column will be restored next time.


Milestones
1999: Eurocommune opens, burns down four minutes later after an electrical outlet misunderstanding.
Now Hiring
Good Humor Man. Must be willing to drive around the commune offices in a circle 24 hours a day. Familiarity with The Farmer in the Dell strongly recommended. Dilly Bars a plus.
Top-Selling Porn Musicals
1.Oklahomo!
2.The Wizard of Ass
3.Chitty Chitty Gang Bang
4.Bedknobs and Broomsticks
5.Swingin' in the Rain
Archives
Some People Call Me the Space Cowboy
Good people, the most wondrous of wonderful, funderful, magical things has happened to me! I was hit in the side by a dirty van while crossing the street and gravely injured. That's not the good part, but I'm getting to that—let's take the long... (5/15/01)

I Can't Get Up
Help me! Good people, this is not a lark, I'm serious—I've fallen and I can't get up. I can excuse the snickering and guffaws from the peanut gallery. I, too, have witnessed those B-grade commercials for elderly alarm devices in which pathetic... (4/16/01)

This is High-Grade Stuff
As my readers know, I believe strongly in charity—one look at my wife will tell you that. She holds the demeanor and loving look of a woman who's weathered many a charity event at her husband's side. So most Rokophiles are well aware of "Rok... (3/16/01)

more