We love the ‘80s
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Milestones
2001: Bogus office psychic Mazie the chicken predicts radical arab terrorists will attack giant silver towers and a military stronghold on Sept. 10th. An angry Red Bagel eventually takes away her predictions column.Now Hiring
Nanny. Traditional English dress and accent required, none of that rough Brooklyn flower bullshit. Strong musical training and good voice a must. Should be able to rhyme easily, even if only creating nonsensical words in most of songs. We provide spoonfuls of sugar and medicine, as well as company umbrella. Three references needed.Best Unreported News
| 1. | President Bush Built from Japanese Parts |
| 2. | Dale Earnhardt Fans Waiting Like Fanatics for His Return |
| 3. | Lawrenceville, KS Shoney's Buffet Huge Fucking Rip-Off |
| 4. | RuPaul All Man Underneath Dress |
| 5. | Country of Chad Non-Existent, Just Some Joke by Guy Named Chad |
BY shamu wells d'froad
6/24/2002
I smoked a thin cigarette quickly in one puff. It was what I do. I'm currently unemployed.
From the end of the beach I could see the shaky man coming, walking his dog. The shaky man is called that, by me, because of his never-ending addict trembles that riddle his body. I don't know his name, I've always called him the shaky man, though the dog's name is Boner.
"Bon jour, Boner," I say, feeling it would be silly to address the man, whose name I do not know.
"Don't talk to my dog, you insignificant French asshole," says the shaky man. He has a slight stutter when he says "t-t-t-t-talk" and "F-F-F-F-French." I can't say I disagree with him, I certainly am insignificant and French. I suppose I'm an asshole as well, at least as the standard slang meaning...
