Corrupt Offensive Manipulative Masturbatory Unfair Narcissistic Egos
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Milestones
2002: Poet Violet Tiara turns 16 and is a little disappointed by her gift of a Saturn when she had been hoping for a hammock of moonbeams or a tumor full of love.Now Hiring
Director of Office Security. Traditional ideas of increasing manpower and investigating odd events not necessary. Must be able to design colorful charts and randomly pick levels of security intensity.Least Effective SARS Protective Efforts
| 1. | Stop breathing |
| 2. | Fire handgun blindly at coughs |
| 3. | Smoking deceased SARS victims |
| 4. | Wave hand, say "Don't go in Toronto! Whew!" |
| 5. | Drinking imported Hong Kong bathwater |
BY shamu wells d'froad
6/24/2002
I smoked a thin cigarette quickly in one puff. It was what I do. I'm currently unemployed.
From the end of the beach I could see the shaky man coming, walking his dog. The shaky man is called that, by me, because of his never-ending addict trembles that riddle his body. I don't know his name, I've always called him the shaky man, though the dog's name is Boner.
"Bon jour, Boner," I say, feeling it would be silly to address the man, whose name I do not know.
"Don't talk to my dog, you insignificant French asshole," says the shaky man. He has a slight stutter when he says "t-t-t-t-talk" and "F-F-F-F-French." I can't say I disagree with him, I certainly am insignificant and French. I suppose I'm an asshole as well, at least as the standard slang meaning...
