Quote of the Day
“God help them that help themselves to my lemony cookies, for they is to be sorrowing at the whup I be borrowing from they ass.”
-Benji "Cookie Monster" FranklinFortune 500 Cookie
Love is a relative term, but even that nugget won't save your ass if you pork your cousin. Stay away from salty snacks this week, even if it means tunneling underground. Try wearing your watch on the other arm—maybe that's your problem. This week's lucky names: Alexia. Ephyn. Scatman. Toolio.
Try again later.Top Overzealous Reagan-Tribute Headlines
| 1. | Reagan Great, As Far As We Can Remember |
| 2. | Former President Freed Slaves, Banished All Injustice Forever |
| 3. | "Honest Ron" Beloved by Homos, Hobos & Commies |
| 4. | Ray Charles Loses Will to Live after Reagan's Passing |
| 5. | Reagan Ended WWI during 8th Birthday Party |
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