Milestones
1750: Antonio Salieri, second-rate composer and eternal inspiration to the commune. His alleged murder of Mozart, as portrayed in Amadeus, forever encourages us in our war with Crochet! magazine.Now Hiring
Stepchild. Just sit around and eat and drink me out of house and home without ever raising a finger. Hey, I'm talking to you, you little shit. There ain't no law says I got to be nice to you just 'cause I'm knocking boots with your mom.Top 5 Worst Things to Hear in a Blackout
| 1. | Let's play Guess Who's Not Wearing Pants? |
| 2. | Did you ever hear how electricity was invented? Funny story… |
| 3. | We'll find our way out by lighting my farts. |
| 4. | Say, this feels like a tumor. |
| 5. | Wow, we're trapped in an elevator with Ashton Kutcher! |
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