Quote of the Day
“What joyous spring, what sylvan glade, alive with growth and life anew, springing forth in buds of nature's splendor, what miracle of- what, it's snowing? Again? FUUUUUCK. I'll be at the pub.”
-Roderick YoungfellowFortune 500 Cookie
You are so ugly, the mere sight of you makes small children give up on life. No twist to that, it just needed to be said. Instead of Band-Aids this week, use bacon. Everybody loves bacon. The only cure for breath like yours is the Hemmingway solution. This week's lucky haiku: Luke Luck licks dykes, Luke's dick sticks Mikes, Mike's wife knifes like OJ.
Try again later.Top Positive Changes Inspired by Va. Tech Massacre
| 1. | Public now rightfully suspicious of South Koreans |
| 2. | Bush to up military spending to ensure troops aren't outgunned by Iraqi college students |
| 3. | Handguns: two for the price of one, Big Dill's Gun Barn, Williamsburg, VA |
| 4. | Congress to pass ban on recreational bazookas |
| 5. | Grand Theft Auto: Va. Tech to carry "It's just a game" disclaimer |
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