Quote of the Day
“Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal. They have to, because let's face it—you're never going to support yourself as a fucking poet, cheech.”
-B.S. EliodeFortune 500 Cookie
Expect a big upturn in your finances when a bag of silver dollars dropped from a skyscraper nearly kills you. People flock to your show when The New York Times calls you "Stomp for people who wish Stomp would just fucking die already." The court case is decided this week and you now legally have bragging rights. Lucky meat substitutes: Soy, tofu, tofurkey, a McDonald's hamburger.
Try again later.Top Reasons for Increased U.S. Ladder-Associated Deaths
| 1. | "Up/Down" directions never specified |
| 2. | Reckless Generation Y refuses to wear protective equipment |
| 3. | Ladder-deaths portrayed so glamorously in the movies |
| 4. | Frequent union strikes by staircases leaving human helpless to descend to higher landings except by already overcrowded ladders |
| 5. | Direct correlation to 50% increase in all-blind-cast productions of Our Town |
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